A Christmas I'll Remember

Dropped like 5 hundo on Christmas. It's pretty sick how you can get a great gift for Christmas worth 5-600 and then lose that amount in the same day. Guess the old Frank wasn't completely gone. I'm sorry to my buddy who will remain nameless, we had a long phone conversation about my poker swings and I promised him I would not screwup anymore but I did on Christmas. It's not like I did it on purpose but I was playing bad and I didn't stop myself. I didn't follow the routine at all. Which is 1500 hands of 6max and then quit. I got off track and it cost me. I was playing foolishly and did not stop. It all started on Christmas eve. I was at my sisters house and was using my brother in law's computer to play my 1500 hands. I didn't have my trusty desk to sit at and I hated the computer I was using. It was so hard to click and drag and do everything I have to do at a a rapid pace while 4-tabling. I became frustrated and just lost my fuckin mind. I started to play really bad at 6 max and began just doing whatever I wanted and not really playing my A game/not working hard/trying to win without cards/being inmpatient/gambling. I was down 400 after like 700 hands. So I played some people headsup and won 300 back and finished down only 100. No biggie. But once I was down only like 50 or so and almost even I felt that old familiar feeling of my mind stopping me from suceeding and some other part of me not wanting me to make money and for some reason I knew I wasn't going to win anymore even though I was destroying people Heads Up, I finish down 100 after being stuck 400. So If I had stuck to just HU that day I woulda made 300.
On Christmas the same thing happenned. I started playing 6 max and was supposed to play 1500 hands like usual. But I couldn't take it seriously and couldn't get myself to play good. I was playing utterly dispicably putridly horrible and was down like 400 again. So I started playing people headsup again. I absolutely destroyed this one guy. I mean it was a blowout of epic proportions. I started with 50 and maybe bought in for 20 more so I was in the match for like 70 bucks. One glorious hour later I sat with 550 dollars at this table. He would not give up, he had so much ego and kept rebuying, each time getting destroyed. So now I've won all that money back I just lost and more. Now I'm up for the day and fully recovered from losing 100 on Christmas Eve. So I'm even over a 2 day stretch of playing really bad. I've won probly over 700 in like 3-4 hours of heads up play total, and down like 700 from 3-4 hours of really shitty 6max play. And I'm shot and shoulda quit. But decided to go back to 6 max. Again I start playing really bad and can't get myself to stop playing bad. I also played 1 table of 100max 6 max and lost my whole stack when I caught trips and lost to a higher trips. I then went back to heads up and by then my brain was so fried cause I had been playing so long that I lost like another 200 and then all of sudden was down like 500-600 for the day. I took a suckout that so horrible when my 78 flopped a straight, flop was 6 9 10, my opponent flopped 2 pair. He boated up on the turn with a miracle 10 and then just to drive the knife in deeper he another 9 on the river so he had 2 different 3 of a kinds, lol. I stopped down like 700 in 2 days. Wish I didn't play all shot and tired and with a brain close to mush. But didn't wanna stop after destroying that one guy cause I was only even and didn't feel accomplished.
You make all these rules and whats the point. The real rule, the golden rule, the only rule you need is A number 1: DONT FUCKIN PLAY BAD!
and is a little sublet to the rule IF YOU ARE STOP FUCKIN PLAYING!
I can sit here and list some rules right now that I need to adhere to but what is the point. Cause I always break the golden commandment. Now I got a lot of work to do before my account is back in cashout ready with still enough money to play with form.
I just got my own computer and just installed pokertracker and pokerstars. I am going to make sure I don't get any viruses. 2009 is my year baby. Since I got a new computer pokertracker does not have any of my old sessions logged. This is an oppurtunity to start a new. I made 42 bucks today, but don't feel like playing a full session. I only played an hour. Gonna take it easy and start tomorrow. Only have to make 500 more before my account is in cashout yet still have money to play with form. That will be easy to make by new years. 2009 baby, 2009. Gonna make 75k.
The guy who I utterly destroyed yesterday who was down about 500 overall to me. God, I still can't believe I won so much off him and still had a horrible day, it doesn't even seem real, it was a bad dream. But anyway he kept calling me a donk in the chatbox. He kept losing so much money to me and I was outplaying the shit outta him and he kept telling me I sucked. And then he was saying that the only reason I was winning was because I was lucky and kept rivering him.
The truth is he kept paying me off on the river. And it was usually when I had him beat the whole way, since the flop. He was like an atm machine on the river when the pot was big and I was making value bets around the size of the pot. I have a sick hand and I know he is gonna call and I just name the amount I wanna win and bet it. Cha ching, he was such an atm machine. This guy just would not fold anything remotely decent. I wasn't even playing tricky I was being so straightforward and just betting, no checkraising at all. And he kept calling me a donk.
The sickest part is that it was bothering me. He told me to uninstall pokerstars cause I am a fish. I don't claim to be a millionaire but I am one of the very few who is not down from online poker. Supposedly 92% of online players are. So why does it bother me?
Last week some kid told me he wanted me to die in a fire cause he lost a hand to me. Some other guy rivered me when I flopped 2 pair and got him to put all his chips in with 1 pair. He caught a better 2 pair on river and then told me I suck. Why does this bother me?
Why does it bother me when people type cruel shit to me in the chatbox? They're losers, thats why they talk shit in the chatbox. Because there losing and there frustrated the worst in them comes out. So they think irrationally and become very sick and mean and say horrible things. I hate how it bothers me. Anyone who is a good player doesn't do this. Because good players can handle bad beats and keep on ticking. Bad players become irrational after bad beats and thats why they talk shit to you. Anyone who does it is a loser, and is down alot from poker.
I know this now, calm, relaxing, sitting on my computer reflecting. But at the time, it bothers me.
I don't know why. I just can't seem to figure out whether people are by nature bad, or is it that they are weak and can't handle adversity. Adversity brings out the worst in people. Poker brings out people's bad side and I gotta deal with that all the time.
Sometimes I think poker is just a stepping stone, or a small part of what I'm gonna look back on 50 years from now. Hunter S. Thompson used to actually live dangerous experiences sometimes for very long periods of time before writing a novel about them. He lived with the hells angels for a year. He did all the drugs in fear and loathing in Las Vegas.......... It's so awsome to sacrifice or risk your personal welfare for great literature. I'm glad I've experience so much poker and whats it's like to play this game a career. It's been rough but I have so many great things to write about. I really gotta start writing more and running. Poker still is a great way to make moeny though, just gotta prevent debacles, and I will. They sometimes seem inevitable because of the the insanity it brings me too. Ahhhhhh....................

Keeping it Up, Consistency is Everything

Staying consistent, grinding out the 1500 hands of 6 max everyday. I've played 3 sessions since my last post. On sunday I was still kinda high on THC and started playing. I really thought I was fine but wasn't. With my new outlook on things and my new 'responsible poker player who actually makes money and isn't gambling foolishly half the time' thing going I really can't be high or drunk when I'm playing. But I really thought I was fine. I wasn't fine, and still was a little high. I lost 206 for the session. I felt like I should stop playing cause I was bluffing way to much but was torn between keeping up my responsible mindset 'don't start playing a session unless your gonna play the full 1500 hands' so I finished the 1500 hands and lost the 200 bucks.
I can't seem to control my emotions at all when I am high. I also can not seem to fight the urge to bluff people off hands when I know what they have. It's pretty sick how I know exactly what 2 cards my opponents are holding and still can't get em to fold. This is one of the things that will always bother the shit outta me. PEOPLE DON'T FOLD! They just get way to compelled to call. And don't tell me they know I'm bluffing. It's because they have no discipline. Whenever I have the best hand and I bet they call. Whenever I don't have the hand and I bet they call. This is why I'm making alot of money right now, cause nobody lays anything down. Everytime I have the goods they pay for my kids college.
I had this asswipes hand pegged perfectly. I was saying he has Ace 7, Ace 7, Ace 7. I put him on A7 and knew all he had was a pair of aces with a shit kicker on the river. I bet half his stack and he thinks forever and calls, he had Ace 8. And I lose and then say 'why do I do this to myself?'
And don't tell me he had a read on me and it was a great call. Sometimes there are cases like that, but most of the time it's just because the people I play all suck. If they had a read on me and were calling for that reason then they would fold when I do have them beat. But they don't. Like I said when I have and when I don't have it, they can't lay anything down.
I make hero calls with extremely weak hands at times, and it's not from sucking, it's from having a great read and knowing what the other player has. Most players who play the stakes I play can't play above the rim like that.
So anyway, It just really urks me how I can have someone read so well that I think he has Ace 7, he actually has Ace 8 (same difference) and he still won't fold. That means if I had special glasses that let me see through people's cards, I would still lose money bluffing. (sigh)
Thats why you have to be patient and wait for hands. Life will always be hard, money will never come easy. These idiots play so bad they force you to have to play patiently and wait for hands. Life will always be difficult because these losers will always let their ego talk them into calling when you have jack shit. You better have the goods when you bet, or you got no chance. These dooshbags take a lot of the skill out of it by paying everything off anytime they have the most remote inkling of a solid hand.
I was so upset with myself sunday that I played while not excatly sober that I started another session that night. I won 262 in that 1500 hand session, and wind up profiting only 56 bucks for the day. If I had just played only the good sober session Sunday it would been another very solid day.
Last night I played a very swingy session. I was up like 170 or so and then 5 minutes later I was even. After losing like 77 dollars in one hand where I took such a disgustingly brutal suckout on 1 table, and was forced out of several smaller pots on all 3 other tables, I took a huge hit and downswinging badly. The suckout was so so so bad. Me and another bigstack saw a flop of Q 5 3 after he 3bet me preflop.
A 3bet means I raised, (2 bet) and he reraised (3bet) preflop. I made it $2.50, which is 2 on top of the big blind. He reraised me 5 more to $7.50 total. I call with 33. I flop the set, he bets big I reraise, he goes all in to my delight. I am a little worried about a set of queens but I gotta call with my set. He probly has KK. After the turn and river the board was Q 5 3 5 Q. And he wins the pot with AQ, queens full of fives. What a ridiculously lucky suckout.
That hurt real bad. And coincidentally I was getting my ass handed to me, being bluffed out of several other pots, or maybe they had me beat, I don't know, I folded though. I made a nice comeback later on. I finshed up only 108 bucks for the session. So I've made only 164 profit in the last 2 days. Wack. I'm sure I'll have a big win tomorrow though.
From now on I have to make sure I am completely 100% sober before I play at all. Which means either finish playing before I do anything fun each day. Or not smoking or drinking at all unless I have already played that day. I've only had 2 losing sessions out of my last 10. And I was still a little high for both losing sessions. Coincidence? I think not.
I don't even like smoking weed that much. I really just do it to be social I think. I wonder what it would be like to have a girlfriend that isn't a pothead.
I really have never been that close to any girl that wasn't a pothead. I would like to give it a try. But girls that don't smoke tend to have ignorant outlooks on life. Obviously this is not true in all cases. But chances are a girl who doesn't smoke, would disapprove of what i choose to do for a living. Hell, even girls who smoke disapprove.
Sunday we were watching football and one of my best friends girlfriend told me if I continue to play poker for a living the only girl that would be with me would be a dumb tramp. And an intelligent woman would be turned off by the apparent 'instability' of my profession.
Well I say she is dead wrong. An intelligent woman would be turned off even before she knew what I do for a living. HAHA..............
I sometimes wonder if BBL would still be around if I never played poker. But if I had to bet on it I would say that completely ridiculous to even consider. That was not like her at all to be ignorant. She thought very similar to how I think. But the question did arise in my head at one point. I'd say the chances are 100 to 1 though, at best.
This other girl who I used to chill with would not even wanna listen to me talk about poker hands and scenarios. I think not showing any interest in this unique and extremely multilayered game I love shows an extreme lack of intelligence. I am reallt not down with girls that are stupid. And I am really really not down with girls that are ignorant.
Ignorant people will always tell you that poker is no way to make a living. But they only know what they're told. They say things without knowing the whole story. They know nothing about poker and still claim it's not steady enough.
You tellin me if you start a business your definately gonna profit? You ever seen an 'going out of business' sign. Life is a gamble, I really don't see poker as an insecure profession at all anymore. It's not that poker isn't secure, it's that people aren't. If your not secure, your ability to profit is not secure. But if you are secure, poker is secure.

With the sucess I am having and the sucess I have always had during the stints where I treat poker like a job, I honestly feel more comfortable and financially secure playing poker than I would do anything. It's all about keeping your A game 100% of the time, whether your losing or winning, up or down, keep playing your A game and the money will come. It's a mathematical certainty that after enough hands skill will prevail.

If you were Kobe Bryant and someone wanted to bet you money in a basketball contest, would you feel like you were gambling??

Remember betting Kobe in a basketball match is just as stupid as playing Phil Ivey in poker (I was gonna say me, but that would be a stretch). Kobe would show you how stupid you are for betting him in about 5 seconds of round ball. Phil would show you stupid you are in about 5 hours of poker. Poker is all skill, I promise you. It just takes longer to show.

Awake when your sleeping.......... Asleep when your awake

Its 2 am and my day has started like 3 hours ago. I been kicking ass online lately, and have not been screwing around at all. I've done nothing but get online, playing my 1500 hands and then logging off until the next day. Yesterday sucked I only won 140 profit, which is very dissapointing and I'll be looking to redeem myself tonight. They day before that I won 206 and before that 280 or so. I think I already reported it last post. So I've had 2 good days since then. I don't think I played that well last night. I hit a real cold stretch and somewhat tilted for a short period of time. I flopped trip aces with A6, a hand I should not have called a raise with in the first place and saw a flop of AAQ and had trips. My opponent bet the pot after I checked and I moved in. He instacalled and I did not feel good about my chances at all. So another Q hits the turn and king on river. The board read AAQQK and I just felt like I lost, like he had 4 queens or AK. Turned out he had AQ and had flopped the nuts! He bet it pretty hard too and it confused me and I moved in. I was saved by the Q on the turn and was lucky to split the pot. That Q on the turn saved me like 45 bucks. I could've only made like 100 last night and it woulda sucked. It was just such a wierd hand. I've never held an ace and saw a board of AAQQ on the turn and still felt like I was losing in all my years of poker.
So things are looking real good since only profiting 140 is a bad day. The Frank that goes on tilt and drops 700 in a night playing people heads up is gone. I mean it this time, he's really gone. I'm sticking to the plan. I've made approximately 1200 bucks in 6 sessions, or 6 playing days of 1500 hands each. I expect to make more over the next 6 session stretch cause I'm playing almost only 50 max now, where as the first 2 session of these last 6 were at 25 max.
Considering I only play/work approximately 4 hours a day, I've made 1200 bucks in 24 hours, I believe thats roughly 50 bucks an hour.
I think thats enough incentive to keep up this routine. Sign in, play the 1500 hands, no more, no less, record how much you win, sign out. Thats its, its this simple. Keep this up for a year and I should make like almost 75 grand. 2009 is my year baby. No more foolish gambling, gonna take poker very very seriously and I'm gonna keep this up all year. Winning or losing is a choice.
Anytime I feel like playing but not seriously I'm going to play those FPP tourneys and stock up my tournament dollars. Soon enough I'll have so many tournament dollars I can enter big tournies on pokerstars and all will cost me is FPP's. I just came in 2nd out of 10 in 2 of those little FPP tournys, wack. Flopped trip 2's and got it all in about to snag the win. When a miracle 7 on the river gave my opponent a better trips........ rough. Bad luck does not frustrate me nearly as much as how annoying and immature everyone who plays poker is. Check out this chat these two losers were having.

luvthejordan [observer]: ur a loserluvthejordan
[observer]: runner runner
Co1dBl00D: who still playin now huh
Co1dBl00D: keep observing

Your really going to actually dignify someone with answer when they're calling you a donk through their chatbox then your the biggest donk of all. I'm gonna start playing a real session now, be done in 4 hours, hope to make close to 300.......... brb

Bam, just finished played 1514 hands took like 4 hours and made 349 profit. What a sick sick session. I am the man. I got kinda rattled halfway through when I was up 200 and then took a horrible suckout and lost a massive pot when my 2 pair lost to a rivered set. I got the guy to put all his money in just like I wanted but he sucked out on river. I was a little shaky after that and soon was only up 100, but I recovered nicely. I got all that guy's money back an hour later when he tried to bluff me as I was holding the second nuts. He coulda have a straightflush and beat me but I knew he didn't have a frigen straight flush. I insta called. Wow, very nice profit tonight.
Here is the last 7 days since I've been doing the 1500 hands and then stop playing gig.

12/8 25max NLH 1505 hands +283
12/9 25max NLH 1536 hands -70
12/10 25max, 50max NLH 1503 hands +367
12/16 25max, 50max NLH 1504 hands +265
12/17 25max, 50max NLH 1519 hands +206
12/18 25max, 50max NLH 1508 hands +140
12/19 50max NLH 1514 hands +349

Yeah baby. Just gotta keep up this routine. Can't wait to buy lots of shit. I'm gonna be a different color track suit for each day of the week. Peace out.............

The First Regrettable Atlantic City Trip Report

I managed to prove the statements I made in my last post exactly correct during my recent trip to AC. I said that winning or losing is a choice last post and boy did I prove it. I lost a lot of money playing live this trip and I really don't care at all. I didn't play well at all, I didn't even try and ofcourse I lost horribly each day. It's all a blur now, I don't know how long we were there. Me and my boy Curly and my Polish friend Narska who I'm helping get good at poker all went down Thursday night. And as soon as we got there the slacking off began immediately.
"Fuck playing poker tonight I don't wanna deal with that shit! Let's get wasted!"
It was Narska birthday and Curly doesn't play poker at all so the whole trip was not really focused on getting work done. We got really hammered and it was great. But that first night we didn't really meet and hotties. It's rare that the three of us would go out drinking anywhere, especially in AC were girls are usually everywhere, and not meet any girls. But we just didn't, no one was really out at the bars except old people. We had a room at the Tropicana for very cheap cause of the poker rate and it was great. We were so smashed.
The next day me and Narska played poker in the Tropicana's sub par poker room. I could not get myself to paly good at all. I was up 250 and then got sucked out on big with top pair. My KQ saw a board of K 9 7 and I bet like 25 bucks and got 2 callers. The turn came a 3 and it checked to me as I bet 45 bucks. The short stack pushes all in for 31 more. The other guy folds. Now I know I am beat, but have to call cause only 31 more with almost 200 in the pot. I say'whatta ya got over there? Queen three suited? And I make a crying call. He says 'wow, nice call' and sure enough shows me Q3 of diamonds for 2 pair. I need to catch a King on the river to make a better 2 pair. I do not. He sucks out on the turn with that damn 3 and scoops a nice pot.
I then made a checkraise semi bluff against some idiot with pocked aces. It was a good move by me if I was playing against a good player. But it was bad player and you should never reraise a bad player who pocket aces. This idiot did not even think for a second that I might have a set or 2 pair he just instashoved all in for the rest of his stack of 215 bucks. I only had 75 invested and should have folded but decided to gamble because with flushdraw and inside straight draw I was only a 45% underdog.
Remember kids, a checkraise semi bluff is a good play if u have alot of outs. But only against a good player cause a good player will fold his aces, putting u on a set. This play has value due to the fact that if you make him fold you win and if he doesn't you still win close to half the time anyway. But if there is a zero percent chance he will fold cause he's a fuckin idiot who wouldn't lay down aces if his life depended on it, then it's a bad play. So I fucked up here. I gambled and called his all in and his aces held. I lost a huge pot.
Then I was gambling stupidly the rest of the session. And the next day at the Borgata I gambled foolishly again the whole time. I was raising without looking at my cards alot. I got into another big hand where I gambled to try and get a big stack and win a monster pot. Again I was holding a flushdraw and inside striaght draw, diamonds again against some idiots and her pocket rockets. It was so obvious what she had and I still moved my stack in. Here I am only a 45% dog again but lost this huge pot as well. So I lost 2 coinflips that woulda gave me gigantic stacks. I had a lot of fun that night and was calling out people's hands like crazy. This one guy was really impressed, I don't see why. I think it's so easy to know what people are holding in Texas holdem, you only have 2 cards, it's so easy to know what people have. It's not like I can call out people's hole cards in 5 card draw. Texas holdem is 2 hole cards damnit, if you can't do it, you need to practice, it's so easy.
I put together a good short session at the tropicana later on in the wee hours of the morning. But the next day at Bally's I screwed up again. It was a loose easy game to beat but I played so bad. I just played horribly the whole trip. I refused to lay anything down. Every session I kept paying people off. I was playing so loose preflop too, it was disgusting. But it was fun. On the way home I counted all the hands where I knew exactly what hand my opponent was gonna show me if I called but called anyway. I could have saced like over 1000 bucks if I layed down all the hands I knew I should have. I just kept hoping I would suck out on people. I played with no patience or dscipline the whole time. I think I finished down like 8 or 900 bucks, lol.
And I owe Narska a lot of money for the room at the Trop and all the hundos I borrowed to play when I kept losing. I wanna cash out online really bad and go back to AC and redeem myself. Go alone, with no distractions. No drinking, just grinding.
I just finished a solid session online where I made 265 profit. I kick ass 4 tabling online. I'll go back to AC soon enough and play well and win a G.
I regret screwing around so much this last trip to AC but it was a great time. There's so much more to say about what happened. Like how all the assholes in the AC poker rooms can't seem to refrain from mouthing off constantly. And anyone who loses a hand crys and becomes an asshole. Some kid yelled at me and said 'your not on TV bro!' because I was asking him questions about his hand and he thought I was just trying to act weak cause I was strong. But I actually was weak and was legitimately concerned he had me beat. He thought I was acting to try to get a call. And he went crazy. Some other guy at Narska's table was caught with a mashedi in his jacket, no joke. He was kicked out.
It's hard to enjoy live poker cause everyone gets so upset when they lose and their ugly side shows itself. People are all scum. When I lose a hand I say 'nice hand' no matter what. If you can't handle the swings, stay home. Stop making poker miserable for everyone.
The whole trip was a blur. People being dickheads when they lose drove me crazy the whole time. As did people's stupidity in how they play. So did my lack of effort. And that bitch BBL kept popping up in my head. And I was never in the mood to chase girls at the bars cause I was losing money every day. When I have a big win I am pumped and feel confident, but never had one cause I kept fuckin up.
Man, playing live is so slow and when you play online you got so many tables going that you always have a good hand somewhere. Live can be so draining and rough. I wanna stick to online for a while and just play live tournies. With all the money I wasted playing this trip, I coulda just entered a 500 dollar tounry and gave myself a chance at 40k. Live and learn.
All in all I don't give a shit what happened to me this weekend. I can make it all back online and more. And I will...............

Winning or Losing is a Choice

Have not written in a while, for the people who actually read my website I apologize. My computer has a virus and I can not currently access the internet and it really sucks. Especially since the internet is how I get money. I am a janitor without a bus ticket.
Just finished a long hard session online. I have to borrow peoples computers while they are sleeping. It's 6 a.m. and I just pulled in a very solid 367 dollar profit. The last 3 days I've been sticking to the whole be responsible work hard and bust your ass thing and I tell you it's real tough.
I've been making sure I've set aside 4-5 hours each day to play my 1500 hands of 6max on Pokerstars. During this 4-5 hours I am doing nothing but concentrating on playing the best poker I can play on all 4 tables at a time and I do not stop until I've filled the 1500 hand qouta. N0 tv, no eating, drinking, and I have to be sober for it. And only play 4 tables of 6max cash games, thats it. No heads up games! No heads up games! I've donked off my fair share playing people heads up or just playing really bad and unfocused aka gambling. I'm glad I'm done with work now I can pass out. Got everything backwards right now, I'm waking up at like 5-6pm then chilling then work is the last part of the day b4 sleep. Whatever as long as it gets done. Today was the first day I played 50 buy in 6 max and boy did it pay off, 367 bucks is a lot to make for such stakes. Yesterday I was playing 25 buy in cause I didn't have much money in my account and wound up losing 70 bucks after all 1500 hands. I didn't even play bad it was just a freakishly cold run of cards. I probly coulda played a little better but even if I did I still wouldnt of made shit. The day before that I made a 283 dollar profit playing 25 buy in. Now that is just to strange. I don't know how the hell I made all that playing such a low stakes game but whatever. So over my last 3 days I'm up 580. Thats 4,500 hands, only 1000 of those 4,500 came from 50 max so I expect to make even more now that I'm not playing 25 max anymore. I should be able to send myself another G in like a week or two.
Ofcourse I had my account all set up how it I wanted before I fucked up it up and 'gambled' as oppossed to do what I've done the last 3 days. It really makes me sick how much money I've wasted 'gambling' and how much more money I could have sent myself. Now its gonna take forever to get my account in cashout yet still have money to play with form. The money I sent myself in which I received last post is running out and should be gone soon. I'm gonna need more but its' gonna take time. Guess I shoulda thought about that b4 I 'gambled'
The last 3 days I've been doing the right thing and it's all gravy. Money is nice. 2009 I turn over a new leaf and won't 'gamble' all year. By then I'll have my account in good shape and have money in my pocket. No excuses, 2009 is my year. No gambling.......... Just make money, send it to myself, spend it, make more. No wasting money on stupid gambling/heads up/going on tilt binges.
My computer having a virus would not be a problem if I sent myself more money and could just buy a new one. Life is going to be a lot better when I keep this up. I think I've really woken up this time. I think I've really gotten through to myself. I'm pretty sure I'm going to fulfill my potential now. It's long overdue. I can't use pokertracker now cause my comp is all messed up. I can't be online unless I borrow someone computer. Things are all fucked up right now and only continuous hard work is gonna change things. No 'gambling' and hard work.
It's funny how I always say that I don't gamble at all and don't bet sports, don't play blackjack, blah, blah. "I don't gamble poker isn't gambling. It's a game of skill, its a science, it is guaranteed money over time." Well yeah this is true. But I gamble, I gamble all the time, playing poker like a jackass is gambling. Cause you know your eventually gonna lose when you play like a jackass and same as when you gamble. I always took pride in the fact that I don't gamble at all, but it's not even true. The only way it will be true is I play poker to my full ability every time I play.
Otherwise I am just being a sick gambler. Going on tilt is gambling, playing while doing other shit is gambling, anything other than doing what I've been doing the last 3 days is gambling. ANd gambling destroys lives, look what it has done to mine. I can't believe I'm still at my motherfucking parents house. I fucking hate it here so fuckin much I'm going to have a nervous fuckin breakdown. And it's all because all the money I've made hasn't been spent, it's been gambled and so much of it is not in my pockets and never was.
Winning is a choice, damnit. It's a choice. Losing is a choice. I can win when I really want to. For a long time before this age maybe it wasn't this simple. Maybe I really did have problems with the maturity it takes to succeed at poker. There were times were I really was trying my best but still couldn't win cause of tilt. Maybe it's not all my fault. But regardless now I see it clearer than ever. Winning is a choice, for many its not, and maybe even for me, even 1 year ago it wasn't a choice. But now I see it clearer than ever. Hard work is the answer.
Steve Badger articulated it so well in his article. Reading it was like listening to myself think, but he worded like I never could. http://www.playwinningpoker.com/poker/math/variance/
Some will never be good enough to make consisent money playing poker. Maybe at one time that was the case for me. Now the only really problem is putting the hours in. The only obstacle in my way is laziness. One obstacle to overcome before I have mad dough and freedom. Lot of people have mad dough and no freedom. Alot of people have freedom but no dough. Both baby, yeah, thats right, both or death. Theres no point to living in a world where your only somewhat free. I'd honestly rather just blow my head off then live how most people do. No offense to you if thats your thing.
Winning is choice. At least for me it is. Time to start choosing. Peace out all............

Got my Money Finally!

Yeah baby, I sent myself a G last week after I got my account up to 2k, sent myself half, resetting back to 1K. Today 1,000 bucks showed up in my checking account. That has to last me till I get another 1,000 sent which should take a while now because I have been screwing around with the other thousand I left in my account and now have much less. So I have to make alot now to even get back to 1,000 before I can even think about getting to 2,000 so I can send myself 1000. I think last post I said I was never gonna do this again, and had that whole yada, yada, thing. And I said I was gonna keep busting my ass and keep up the great progress and have another G sent to me in no time. Well I guess I lied. Gonna take a while to get more money sent now. But the good news is that I know I am capable of doing it. I pretty much can win whenever I wanna win. You would figure after a stretch longer than a week where I averaged over 200 profit everyday without a single losing day that I would smarten up. After making 1600 bucks profit in like a week only working like 4 hours a day, and then promising to keep it up and never screw around again, you would think that would be enough to shape up.

Now I gotta make like 200 or 300 more just to have enough to in my account to 4 table 50 max again. Geez......... Why do I constantly give myself more work to do. I honestly should have cashed out over 2k by now have alot more money sitting on my stars account as we speak. I've achieved probly 40% of the profit I should have by now.

I guess I just enjoy gambling more than anything. It sucks. Now when I say gambling I mean playing poker not to my full ability. Just saying fuck it and reraising people just cause. And calling people with weak hands just cause. And chasing, and bluffing to much and just having a blast. Avoid doing all the things that I normally do. Avoid all the discipline and patience I have learned translates into winning sessions. It seems like anything in life that is good for you is hard. Anything that is bad is easy and fun. I really love playing poker on my computer when I'm not exactly sober or not in the mood to try really hard. But it justs costs me so much money that I work so hard to get. Now I have so much shit to do b4 I get more money sent to my checking account.

I thought going broke was a wake up call but it wasn't. I realize that I love gambling foolishly more than any leisurely activity there is. When I'm working hard and busting my ass at poker and staying in a routine or set schedule, it's really good money and life feels rewarding but theres no excitement......... It's always a matter of time b4 I donk of 700-900 bucks one night.

I guess its time to show all ya all my overall graph since I began rebuilding my bankroll in mid October. I really don't wanna but maybe it'll motivate me to stop screwing around.

Notice how when the graph is steadily rising there are little tiny downswings, but the graph continues on a steady incline? Well those are mini downswings cause by luck variance, in which skill always overcomes in time. But the huge lumps, or the green line on a steady decline are caused by me 'screwing around' these are not caused by luck variance or lack of skill, just me screwing around. After the first decline I start rising again, around the top of the incline is where I cashed out. Since then I've been declining again. Allthough my graph still remains much higher than 0 and way far from losing, I still am down from my high point and not up nearly what I should be. The 2 large downswings should never even have happened. And the 2nd upswing should have started right where my first upswing stopped. If there was never that first downswing the overall highpoint of the graph would be much higher. You get me? The only downswings in the graph should be the small ones that are cause by luck variance. Yet I continue to manufacture more ways to lose money. As if theres not enough already in poker.

I wanna say that I promise to never do it again but who would take it seriously, I don't even. I hope I don't have to go broke again to start playing well again. I feel like some other part of me subliminally wants me to lose it all so I would just stop playing this game cause I hate dealing with people so much. It's like theres two Franks and I don't know which one is gonna show up. Well at least I know I'm capable of making alot of dough whenever I want. Some poker players graphs look like this and they try their hardest all the time. Neverthless I am going to try and smooth out those annoying ripples of my graph from now on and show you a steady incline from now on. No more annoying downward curves in my graph. I'm just gonna concentrate on getting a G back in my account so I can turn over a new leaf starting December 1st and have the kind of conistent month I said November was gonna be. I know I can make 5k in december, its all on me.

It would be funny if this time next month I'm talking about my new years resolution being you know what.

Sleep schedule making me crazy

Well times are good, the Knicks are above .500 at 6-5 and the Jets are 7-3. And I'm winning as well. The Knicks are winning, the Jets are winning, and I'm winning! Yesterday I had a ridiculous cash session where I made 375 profit. That fits in nicely with all the cash sessions I reported on in last post. Since November 14, since I've had enough money to 4 table 50 max buyin NLH I have made 1400 bucks in 6 days. Yesterday was my biggest cash since I began rebuilding in October. So I've come a long way and now expect to clear a G every week just by putting 4 hours of hard work a day. I wanna get today's session over with right now but I feel like I'm not exactly in the mindset at the moment. I feel like I'm not going to play well for some odd reason.

I think it has to do with my current sleep schedule. It's very annoying how I am awake right now and have been for 4 and half hours and most people wont be up for another 2 hours. It's 6:30am and I've been up since 2 am. I slept from 5pm to 2am.

Alot of people think I sleep all day but fail to see that I don't sleep all day or anymore than most people. I just sleep at different times and it makes it appear that I'm always sleeping. But while other people are asleep I'm awake doing shit. I don't go up to them at 3 a.m. and call them a lazy fuck and tell them to wake up just becuase I am awake. Thats why I don't understand why people come in my room at 3pm and call me out. It's like they're stupid enough to assume I actually went to bed the same time they did and I'm still asleep. It's really ridiculous how many people are so quick to make assumptions and jump to rash judgements without considering what the whole story may be. Haters man, haters. To many people in this world are shitty people.

Anyway it is kind of annoying the schedule I'm on the last few days. I'm waking up while everyone is sleeping and then I'm in my house working while theyre just getting up or starting work. I'm chillin while people are still at work. And then by the time everyone is off I'm passed out. By the time I wake up everyone else is passed out. Haven't had much of a social life lately and it's really annoying.

Everytime I keep myself awake to try and get back on everyone else's schedule its a real pain in the ass and it only lasts for like a week once I'm back on schedule. Cause I eventually have a shift. It's not like my schedule is just the opposite of everyones, its consistently changing. I think it shifts an hour everyday. Like a few weeks back I was sleeping from 9 am to 5pm. Then 10am to 6pm. Right now its 5pm to 2 am. Tomorrow it might be 7pm to 4 am. It's like there will be window where you can hang out with me when you get off work every other week.

In AC everyone is always up all the time, but not really people I know. So I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I can try to get my self on better schedule where I fall asleep at like 3 am and get up at 11am or noon. Then I can finish playing by 5 or 6pm. And everyone will be off work. But if I kept this up I'd still have to kind of make myself sleep at certain times which defeats the whole purpose of being a poker player and being free to do what you want when you want. So I really am at a loss for words here. Theres really no way to stop the shifts that get my sleep schedule off base with everyone elses. I have already vowed to be so good at poker that I will never again in my lifetime hear the ring of an alarm clock, ever, ever, again.

I think this is why I don't feel like beginning a 1500 hand session right now. Cause I haven't done enough chillin lately and need to let loose and don't feel like dealing with serious poker playing right now. I fear getting on some sort of a schedule may be crucial to keep up the progress I have over the past 6 days. I gotta do this for a full year. Figure every 7 days I make money at least 6 of em and take 1 day off. So I have already made 1400 the past 6 days and I can take today off I guess. If I keep up this routine, assuming I work 6 days a week and 50 weeks a year, I will make about 70k per year. Not bad considering that I only play 4 hours a day. I been winning at a rate of 41 dollars an hour since Nov 14th. Which is double my AC hourly rate.

If I move there and keep my normal online routine which only takes 4 hours each day, and then play live poker at night, were talking about pulling in 2k a week barring any really unfortunate circumstances.

Yeah so anyway I think I might avoid cash games today. I'm playing a step 1 sattelite tournament on pokerstars as we speak. It costs me 2,000 Frequent Player Points to get in. I now have 18k FPPs left. There is 85 players in this tounry and the top 9 players will get a free seat in the real satellite. Assuming I place top 9 today I will be playing in the real satelitte on Sunday. In Sundays tourny 18 players out of probly over 100 will receive an free entry into the Asia Pacific Poker Tour- Sydney main event. Which cost 6 grand to get in. The 18 satelitte winners will also receive 2,500 cash and free hotel accomadations in Sydney Australia.

So all I have to do is come in top 9 right now, only 47 players left, I need a double up bad though. Then come in top 18 sunday out of however many there are, then go to Australia and just win that 6k buy in tourny and bam, I'm a millionaire by 2009. Easy, piece of cake. I really just wanna make it to Australia and then I don't care what happens. 2.5k cash would be nice too. Man PokerStars really treats its players well. I'm probly not gonna make it but at least they're giving me a chance and its not costing me money. By the way you can't just start an account right now and do this, you have to be a VIP member and have alot of FPPs. So if you want to, get started already, its not gonna happen over night.

I really should set aside this 1 day a week to play these satelittes. Its the only way I'm ever gonna be on TV. Only 35 players left but I'm really low in chips. I need a double up bad. I have AQ suited, I'm moving all in....... I won the blinds, still hurting though. I just got AK and moved all in again and lost to Q10 suited. K hit flop but J on turn gave my opponent a straight. I'm out in 33rd place......

Anyway, to revert back to the sleep schedule thing I talked to this guy in Atlantic City about life as a proffessional poker player and he was saying he has a job just to keep himself sane. And how when he was my age it was important to him to be a pro and make a living that way. But now that he is 33 he can see that it wasn't necessarily the best thing for him. And he said that the only real difference between a professional poker player and an amateur is that a pro has no other way to get money when he is running bad. You can still be a serious poker player and a winning player and your no less of a player just because your not a full time pro. He said he was a pro for years but now has a job he doesnt need just to keep him sane. I can see where he's coming from, he saw alot of himself in me and we talked for a bit. I don't know if I see myself doing anything else but when I'm 30, maybe. I still would like to write a whole novel but can't seem to commit.

I'm gonna play cash for a little bit, I need to get my account up to 2k so I can get a damn check already, 175 more to go and I can send myself a G. Another 6 hours b4 I have another shot at that APPT satelitte to a satellite. To much of your dismay I have to remove a very nice picture from an October post entitled 'Feelin Good' I did not realize how much that girl from the new 90210 resembles the likes of BBL. I can not believe I didn't see it until now but its def coming down even though its a great picture. Every fuckin time I see it its like looking at BBL, the resamblance and the body type is crazy, not usually though, just in that one particular photo. It's coming down asap. Sorry, I'll post another of today's fineass baby doll that should ease your pain. Peace out all..............

Great Comedy is Important

Okay I would just like to say that my friend Rich is the man because he knows great comedy and is willing to sacrifice his own personal welfare in order to delivery a great comedic line. Let me explain, on Halloween this putz dressed up as Sarah Palin. Yeah thats right, and he looked pretty hilarious. So anyway, some one stole the keg from the party we were at and we all ran after them. So Rich, or should I say Mrs Palin, is now in these strangers house yelling that he wants his keg back. They were pretty stunned that a man dressed up like a woman was intruding into their house and accusing them of thievery. It wasn't that big of a schock because it is a college town and it was Halloween, but still the whole scenario was pretty ridiculous. After a few minutes of arguing these kids forcefully remove Rich/Mrs Palin from the house. And as their throwing him out, literally at the same moment he is being tossed out the door, he actually had the presence of mind to shout "Vote republican!"

That my friends, is comedic genius. When you are in danger or some kind of less than perfect situation and all you care about is great comedy, thats an admirable qulaity we should all emulate. From now on I don't care about my well being all I care about is delivering that perfect line. Don't miss your oppurtunity for great comedy, when the situation is right and a great line is necessary you must seize the day.

I will always regret this one missed oppurtunity for great comedy and it pains me to this day. Ya see in my 2nd semester at college I had a suitemate who didn't have any friends on the floor. I was friends with most people on the floor as was everyone except my suitemate. So naturally conflict soon arose when I always had people over in the common room and he didn't ever want company and always went to bed early. Anyway there was like 10 kids in our common room one night and we were playing poker, it was late. We made so much noise that my suitmate finally snapped. He lost it! He barged out of his room and was screaming at the top of his lungs! He came over to the poker table and with one swipe of his arm knocked over all the chips onto the floor. He was like a wild monkey, it was nuts! He wanted to kill me, literally. He then began ripping the cards up, and we all sat their stunned. It was quite the scene. He stormed out of the room and everyone was quiet with disbelief. I sat in my seat, holding half a playing card, the chips were everywhere in the room, scattered. And everyone was silent.

Lord if only I broke the silence by pretending the game was still going and uttering "check"

How hilarious would that have been. Everyone is mortified and doesn't know what to say, the chips are all over the place, the game is obviously done, if only I said 'check' like nothing happenned. God I wish I could have that moment back. I would have been a legend among all comedians.

Anyway just remember what I said, great comedy is imprtant and I'd be willing to take a punch as long as I can deliver a great one liner. I've made one thousand dollars in the last 5 days. I am the man. I've got the bankroll now to make 200 day with ease. Gonna do 200 a day for a while, check should be coming soon. I am the man. I am the man. But I wish I was the comic legend that would of said 'check'
So I've set a goal to make 200 a day since Nov 14th. November was suppossed to be turning over a new lead but you remember how I got high and lost, go back to the post 'yada, yada, yada'
I don't wanna explain it. But since I got back on track I been doing great. So from Nov 14th I've started a clean slate and have reached my goal, averaging 200 a day. I play a minimum of 1500 hands and a max of 2000 everyday then I stop. This system is great. Here's my stats since the 14th:

Nov 14: +279
15th: +132
16th: +375
17th: +39
18th: +215

I am the man. I still have a big problem with being done after only 4 hours and then wanting to play more cause I'm bored and just wanna kill time. But playing just to pass time and not being very serious only leads to money loss so I really just gotta stop after I fill the day's quota of 1500 hands. But it's hard. I'm up close to 2k since I started rebuilding exactly 1 month ago. I should be up 3k but you know, "read yada,yada,yada" God, if I didn't do that I'd have so much more money. But it doesn't matter just gotta stay on this track like I have since Nov 14th and in a year I'll be up 50 grand. Heres a graph of my progress since the 14th, my overall graph is still good but it has a huge downswing in it cause of what I did last weekend, so check this on instead:

Yada Yada Yada

U ever see that Seinfeld where someone is telling a story and they wanna leave out the embarassing part so they fill that part of the sentence with yada, yada, yada?

Well I haven't written in a while because the other night I was not exactly sober to a rather extreme degree and yada yada yada, then I had to some bankroll rebuilding.

Still doing well though after a 3-4 day downswing caused by pure stupidity and laziness and nothing to do with luck variance. Yada yada yada I'm back on track now.

Gonna make 200 a day for a little bit till I get my account up to 2k, then send out a check for 1k and then start the process over again. Resetting back to 1k until getting back to 2k and then sending for another 1k check. I call this process 1k flips. In the future I will look at possibly doing 2k flips, 3k, 4k, 5k flips would be sick. Nevertheless I currently have a bankroll online that enables me to make 200 a day. So were butter. And I'm never going to get really fucked up and pull an all nighter that sets me back a week. Swear, this time. I'm done doing that.

Yeah, okay thats outta the way. Gotta get my account to 2k and I'll be able to send for a check, I have close to 1k now so it'll take about 2 weeks I presume to get to 2k and send for a check. I'll check back in exactly 2 weeks and see if I've got there.

I see sometime in the near future possibly making up to 500 dollars a day online. This is entirely plausible considering that I've made between 150-200 the last 2 days with little stress and playing low stakes. And there was that month long period of 250+ made everyday or at least 6 days a week, when I got that check for 3k.

I am the greatest poker palyer in the fucking world. I can destroy anyone I play. I am my own worst enemy. A more responsible person with my poker ability would have 100k in the bank right now. I have fucked myself so many times. I no longer care that 2 fellow poker players ripped me off for sums of cash that resemble the net profit of a very lucky live 1,2 NL session. When you consider how many times I have robbed myself. The way I win money just sitting on my computer and make amounts that normal people will have to work at shitty jobs for hours to get, and then use that money so foolishly and recklessly without any responsibilty. I just work hard rake in the dough, and then slack off as soon as I have some breathing room. Gotta appreciate what I can do and consider my buddies who ride the train everyday to get to work. Gotta stop hating playing and just work hard. Everyone has to work. I have to play. Play is work to me and sucks but if I ever had to do what normal people do I'd run back to poker quicker than a blink. You feel me?

Congratulations to Peter Eastgate for being just 23 years old and winning the WSOP main event. I hope he is mature enough to handle the 9 million responsibly. Don't blow it bro, play well, play well all the time, never switch to donk mode no matter how much money you got.

Member Stu Ungar people? I quote him: "Theres nobody to ever beat me playing cards, the only one thats ever beat me was myself........."

Fast forward to minute 3 on this video: http://video.google.com/videosearch?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=TSHB,TSHB:2006-48,TSHB:en&q=stu+ungar&um=1&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&resnum=8&ct=title#q=stu%20ungar%201997&emb=0

Stu Ungar was the best ever, straight up. I don't claim to be on that level but I still feel I fall victim to much of what he did. I am my own worst enemy as well. As are many poker players, and people in general. I gotta appreciate what I can do and do it with pride every time. I now understand more than I ever have about making money consistently, you learn more everyday. Gotta stay on the upswing, the man with 2k and on the upswing is better off than the man with 100k on the downswing. Cause the man on the downswing will eventually lose it all. The man on the upswing will eventually double up. No matter the cards, the luck, the variance, the outside circumstances, the man on the upswing will fight through the barriers of nature and prevail with profit. The man on the downswing can suck out all he wants, but no matter the cards, the luck, the variance he will eventually lose it all.

I qoute Tyler Durden(Ed Norton version): "After a long enough time frame the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

I believe I truly understand the upswing now and its mental frame. I felt myself this past week, playing in a way that wasn't me, my game had changed for the worse, I couldn't win. It was the downswing, and I'd been there b4. It was brought on by my massive high money dump, yada, yada, yada. But then I felt myself get back on the upswing. I can now fully comprehend the upswing and downswing and I know when I'm playing bad. Not doing yada yada worthy stuff and staying within ur bankroll will keep you on the upswing. I was onthe upswing for a very long time online and it was great. Now, I am there once again and will stay there. The only person who has ever ruined things for me has always been me.

Remember kids, luck variance will cost you money but it will never cost you enough to stop you from making dough. Really serious downswing are your own fault. Know yourself, know your game. Know when your playing that right way and only play then, and you will frequently deposit large wads of cash money in your savings account.

I've been thinking, once I get enough money to move back to AC and get a place, I should have a ruitine. Say:

1) Wake up

2) Coffee

3) Gym

4) Shower, throw on one of my track suits with a different color for each day of the week

5) Drink those healthyass protein shake things

6) Play 4 tables of whatever stakes I'm playing at that time until I have played 1500-2000 hands, which is a very solid number that is such a massive amount of hands that it would be nearly mathematically impossible to not produce a profit over that long a time frame

7) Relax
8) Casino

9) Have dinner at one of those nice dinner places in the casino

10) Play live poker for 3-5 hours

11) Go to a bar

12) Sleep

Gotta continue doing #6 while at home and I should have enough to move out in like 6 months and I can start making this routine schedule happen. Should pull in a lot of money if I play online and live everyday. Though there will still be some losing days playing live due to the fact that live poker doesn't always grant you enough hands per day to overcome shortterm luck variance. But as usual there will be mostly winning days. But as long as I have online which I can play a week's worth of live hands in 4 hours everything will be butter. Online poker is God's greatest creation, I'm sorry for all the bad things I've said about it......

Another Atlantic City Trip Report

I am very upset over a recent turn of events in AC. I actually had a losing session last night at the Borgata. I lost 205 to be exact. The weirdest situation I may have ever encountered at a poker table caused me to cripple my stack. I really feel like it wasn't my fault at all. Think of all the ways there are to lose a huge pot in a poker game. 1) a cooler 2) bad beat 3) failed bluff

For those of you who don't know a cooler is when you have an unbelievably strong hand and someone happens to have one of the only hands that can beat you. And your hand is really nto foldable, even if Phil Ivey was in the same situation he would of lost, thats a cooler.

A bad beat is simply a suckout, you get all your money in with way the best hand and your opponent catched a miracle card when he or she was drawing very very slim. And I'm not going to explain what a failed bluff is.

Ofcourse I found a way to lose a big pot that does not match up with any of these. It was just so strange. What happenned was I read my opponent perfectly and I knew he wanted me to fold, he sincerely, truly wanted me out. So I stuck my money in. The problem is the reason he wanted me to fold. It wasn't your regular kind of logic.

Anyway, to break it down, I wake up with QQ in the big blind. The 3rd best possible starting hand out of the 169 possible starting hands in texas holdem. This kid to my left is going all in for his last 40 bucks like every hand cause he is on tilt. I'm sitting with about 260 and am salivating with my QQ about to pick up his 40 bucks unless he sucks out on me. I'm just waiting for everyone to fold so I can gladly call. QQ is never an automatic stick all your money in with nothing invested in the pot kind of hand in a cash game, but when the guy is moving all in almost every hand cause he is on tilt, you know QQ is definately the best hand.

So it folds around to everyone but the last guy who is on my immediate right. He decides to reraise the bet to 100 total. Now I am in quite the quandry. I'm pretty sure quandry means problem.

Anyway ususally I'll just muck QQ in about 2 seconds flat preflop when someone reraised to 100. However, this situation was different. You see he(the guy who made it 100) doesn't need that strong of a hand to reraise because he is going to want to isolate against the kid who was all in for 40. Because obviously that kid doesn't have that big of a hand since he's going all in so often. So with most medium strength hands that are easily outdrawable your going to want to isolate so you can be one on one against the tilted all in kid's hand.

This made me feel like QQ was definately good here. How can I really be up against KK or AA. We both know the all kid has crap, is this guy really reraising to 100 with KK or AA? He can't be, it makes so much sense that he has a mid pocket pair 88 - JJ or maybe AK. He can't have QQ beat here cause I know he just wants to isolate.

With this this information present I decided to interrogate the dude on my right who made it 100. And thats when the strangeness all went down. He gave off every weakness tell in the book. The way he answered my questions, his reaction time, his mannerisms. Everything read weakness. I was about stick my money in as I grabbed my chips and he says 'I'm gonna call you ya know' and he said a variety of other weak, weak tells. Now I can read people, I trust my instinct. He wanted me to fold so badly. Everything that was coming off his body just exuded weakness. I've been in this situation so many times and I knew he had like 88 or 99, he had to. And I decided to move all in for 250. He called right away and I knew he had kings. The way he quickly called. I asked him, kings? He says yeah. And I double him up. I'm now sitting with 30 bucks in front of me.

Ya see all the weakness tells were not exactly weakness, it was strength however he did sincerely want me to fold. And I read that perfectly. He was one of those misinformed players who misunderstands poker and doesn't see it terms of long term results. He was sincerely concerned his KK would be outdrawn and honestly wanted me to fold. He wasn't so smart that he knew everything to do to make me call, it wasn't like that at all. He actually wanted me to fold! It was kind of like his stupidity and unwillingness to be an 80% or at worst 70% percent favorite won him a bunch of money. He wanted me out cause he was a pussy, I read it perfectly that he wanted me out. I made a great read, but the problem was he wanted me out for the wrog reasons. I know I've explained this for way to long but I just want you to understand. It's hard for people who don't play to see what happenned here. I could not rebuy cause my friend Narska had the rest of my money cause I gave him 130 of my chips to rebuy himself. I went all in 20 mins later for my last 30 bucks, I held KK ironically and lost to the same guy, he had 97 suited..........

If you don't understand what I mean and think I just couldn't lay down QQ then leave a comment. I assure you I've layed down QQ preflop like 4 million times in my life. I promise you I made the right choice. There was no way I can assume he is just a pussy who doesn't wanna get all his money as a huge favorite and thats why his body is exuding all these tells that say 'please fold'

I know I could played it safe and just mucked it cause I had zero dollars invested but I trust my reads so much. So thats how I lost a huge pot without really doing anything wrong. On the waj home I wouldn't shut the fuck up about the hand. It was so strange, and BBL has been running through my mind with alot more frequency than normal lately for some reason. And that hand has been really bugging me. I should have like 200 cash on me right now.

AC TRIP summary

Day 1) Tropicana +300 in 6 hours

Day 2) Harrahs +46 in 1.5 hours Borgata -205 in 3 hours

Total) +141 profit......... enough for room, gas, and food, no extra money, back home grinding online. Which is going really well, I'll post a graph tomorrow.

Oh yeah my friend Narska loves Atlantic City so much he wants to go like every week, so were gonna go alot. Next time will stay longer and win more. Peace out all...........

YOU STUPID IDIOT!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh. Now that I've got some money I can feel myself taking it easy. You would think it wasn't till I moved out that I would relax, but no. I'm gonna wind up living here till I'm 35, maybe 75 at this rate.

I can't take 25 max seriously anymore. I'm currently sitting at about 1330 on PokerStars and I've cashed out via transfer 80 bucks. So I'm up roughly 1400 since I started rebuilding on October 9th. I've been playing 50 max now, 4 tables. So I'm basically risking double the money I was. My first full session of 4 tabling 50 max I made 96 bucks in 962 hands or 2.5 hours. My second session I made 158 in 625 hands, just under 2 hours. I began playing them because I've been donking it up at 25 max cause I can't take it seriously. I've probly dropped like 60-70 bucks from my last 2 sessions of 25 max. I'm risking more money playing lower stakes and playing like a jackass then I am playing higher stakes and actually trying. So 50 max it is from now on.

Although my first 2 sessions 4 tabling 50 max have been a sucess I am not happy with how I have been playing at all. Alot of the bigger pots I have won have been on me making marginal calls, or picking off people's bluffs. Honestly though, I can not claim I was 100% sure my opponents were bluffing each time, so these are not the kind of situations I wanna be in. And there not reliable money making situations in the long run. I also won a gigantic pot when my KK saw a flop of 789 when there was already shitloads of money in the pot preflop. My opponent with a big stack, like 100 had really gambled preflop and called a 3 bet with J10! We got it all in as did some idiot with a full stack and flush draw. My KK had a 3% chance of winning against the flopped straight. I couldn't put him on J10, I thought he had 10 10 or JJ. Luckily, an 8 paired the board on the turn and then a K hit the river to give me a full boat. I scooped a massive 200+ dollar pot. It was the size of like an Atlantic City pot, but in a 50 max game, so sick. I was very lucky to win that as I stuck all my money in on the flop with a 97% chance to lose.

So yes my first 2 sessions of 50 max have gone well but I'm gonna have to move back down to 25 max if I have a rough time and see my bankroll go below 1100 again. But as long as I'm willing to move down in stakes if I take a hit, I'll be ok.

The reason why this post it titled 'you stupid idiot' is because I just was fucking around on my computer and was playing some 25 max cause my friend Tom was playing with the money I sent him. I thought it would be fun so I sat at his table and proceeded to donk off like 70+ dollars cause I wasn't taking it seriously. Theres no way I'm gonna play well and concentrate and make money if I'm not in the poker mindset. Thats the dumb shit I used to do. But I did it again tonight. Then I wanted to get it back so like an idiot I began playing some heads up No Limit Holdem. The worst and most addictive drug in the world.

I won all my money back and some more. I played this really aggressive dude who kept betting everytime I checked. We were back and forth for a while and then after an hour he finally quit, down over 100 bucks. It felt great to beat that fronter and see him be the one to give up and leave.

Anyway I'm in AC because we came here on the spur of the moment. Last night I was sitting in my basement and was like 'Mahopac is so boring' and then half joking I was like 'we should just go to Atlantic City right now.' And now I'm here, won 3 hundo today at the Tropicana. I'll have a full trip report when I get back. Peace out all........

November is here and I think I've got my life back

I actually think I lost my life for a week or two. I literally had no money for a small period of time. And even then while I was building a bankroll from scratch online I really had no way of touching the money. I didn't wanna send for a check because I had to keep money online to play with and it wasn't till I reached 1 grand that I could even think about cashing out. And even when I did cash out it would take 2 weeks for me to receive my check in the mail. So it was looking like I was gonna be financially handicapped for a while.

But I started to see that when I have money on me I just buy uneccessary things with it. Particularly big sandwiches. Or maybe a magazine I don't need. Maybe spend it on some 'fun'. 'Fun' I don't need to be having and is way to expensive. So I kind of like it better this way. Now I'm only gonna spend money when I need it. And I don't have to worry about how long a check is going to take to get here. Ya see my friend Narska has a Pokerstars account and he gives me cash and I transfer him money online. It's a pretty butter system. It's like the quickest and easiest way to cashout. And I don't spend alot cause I know it's coming out of my bankroll. So I pretty much only spend money now on things I need.

It's pretty funny his dad is pretty rich and careless with money. He's plays on Narska's account and refuses to play anything less than 1,2 with a 200 max buy in online. He really should learn the game playing lower stakes but refuses to play anything less than 200 max (1,2). I play 1,2 at the casino and it's easy to beat but online it's different. 1,2 is the lowest stakes you can play live cause it's all the casino's offer. But online all the fish are playing much lower stakes cause there are so many different levels or options. So 1,2 is a tough game. And this guy is just blowing probly 3-500 a day playing it. He can afford it so it really doesn't matter to him. Wow, some of those online 1,2 pros must be doing cartwheels everytime Tomasz187 or whatever his name is sits at their table.

So I'm most likely going to get a lot of business from Narska's dad when he wants to make another deposit. I currently owe 60 bucks that I'm going to transfer over to Narska when he needs it. My plan is to keep a minimum of 1,100 dollars in my account and cashout everything else. I'm gonna make it a rule that I can't have less than 1,100 in my account so I can't spend any money until I get my balance over 1,100. Right now I have 1,165 so I gotta send Narska 60 bucks and then play, play, play if I wanna see any money.

So lets say at the end of this week my balance is 1,600 bucks, I'll send a check for 400 to myself and then send 100 over to Narska and get 100 cash instantly which should hold me over till the check arrives. I think I'm going to keep 4 tabling 25 max and then only play 50 max when I've already up on the day from 25 max can play 50 max with house money (freerolling). I want to wait till I have like 1500-2000 to start up 4 tabling 50 max but it's going to be difficult now that I'm starting to send myself money. I'm still figuring out what I wanna do.

I think I can definately put in some more hours starting tomorrow. Today I don't feel like doing anything cause it's Sunday. I'm just watching sports all day. I play some limit holdem while watching the Jets game and made 12 bucks, lol. So I'm up like 32 so far for November. November is going to be a very exciting month because it's my first full month with pokertracker, and with an actual bankroll online that I can churn out profits with. So I hope to make over 3,000 profit this month. Here's how October went for me online (keep in mind this is not a full month and half the time I couldn't play high enough stakes cause I was still rebuilding):

October Cash games:

Oct 15th: +23

16th: -113

17th: +88

18th: even

19th: +74

20th: +39

21st: +115

22nd: +147

23rd: +72

24th: -124

25th: +123

26th: +39

27th: +78

28th: +124

29th: +98

30th: +90

31st: took day off

Total Cash games: +873 (57 hours)

Total tournaments: +260 (? hours)

Total October Winnings: +1,133 (57+ hours)

Poker tracker cant record tournies so I gotta do it manually. I'm gonna make so much dough this November. I'm going to try and play some more of those FPP tournies it's a relatively easy way to make 20 bucks with no risk. So after my usual cash session 4 tabling 25 max where I make about 20/hour I'm going to play a bunch of free tourney's. It's not impossible to make 200 a day even without moving up to 50 max cash. Gonna put more hours in each day starting tomorrow. Very exciting. How much do you think I should save up before I move out? I think at least 15k, suggestions? Damn it feels good to have my life back.

Get out of jail free card

Like in monopoly. My friend Ben from college told me his uncle got pulled over going 100mph once and gave the cop a monopoly get out of jail free card. The cop laughed so hard he just couldn't help but let him off.
I used mine today and I have a feeling I'm not gonna get another one. I played pretty horribly today. Pretty inexcusably bad, yet I made money. Won close to 100 with a performance that shoulda cost me 100. This marks the second time since I began rebulding that I've slacked off. I subsituted my normal 4th table of 25 max for a fourth table of 50 max so I could start the transition slowly. My AA went up against KK once again but this time at a 50 max game so it was pretty sweet. Once again a K hit and I was in bad shape. This has been a recurring theme almost everyday I feel. I've already explained so many times this week how often I'm getting shafted in these spots. This time however, I managed to river a flush to make the nuts and won an 80 dollar pot. I only ended up 13 bucks at the one 50 max table I played. I got outplayed or maybe made good laydowns in a number of small pots to knock me back down. Picked up another 76 profit with my normal tables of 25 max I can't wait to move up. I'm sick of working so hard and only making 20/hour. Thats my hourly rate by the way. Not to shabby. It's about the same as playing live in AC, and I'm not spending so much money so I just gotta keep churning out good days and I'll have a lot of money in the bank. I'm up to 1,133 on Poker Stars. Gonna be increasing the bankroll at a much faster pace once I move up to 25c 50c. The transition is gonna take some time though. When I was palying today this guy with position on me kept reraising me preflop and I kept losing. It was as if he knew I hadn't played this high of stakes online recently and was reraising me with whatever he had just because he knew I wasn't in my comfort zone yet.
I hate that guy. I don't wanna hate him but I do. Poker just brings out these emotions in me. I'm still trying to become a Zen master who is free of normal human emotions but its so hard. I was watching the main event tonight and one of the guys who makes the final table was talking about his poker life. Says he just wants to win however much and then he can finally stop playing. Then he can finally have some money and be free and go to Tahiti and forget about all this. I found it interesting that he said 'and forget about all this'
I mean everyone can agree that we would all like to get so rich your set for life and just go to Tahiti and lay on the beach forever. But the way he said 'forget about all this' like his life playing poker and dealing with all the brutal swings is so horrible. Like once he finally has enough money he can finally stop......
I don't know. I kind of feel the same way. I've got to keep going. I need to get enough money to at least play something big enough that could help me just retire. Cause thats what I really want. To be retired, rich, set for life. Freedom. Imagine just playing to have fun, and not cause you need money. I hate to admit it but I jsut wanna be rich, thats why I play. If you have a job it's secure yeah, and you got that steady paycheck. But you also secure the fact that you'll always be working. Yeah your always gonna be secure but your always gonna be working. You never really give yourself that chance to get what you really want.
What do we all really want? To be set for life and never do anything but travel and spend money. I may never get there playing but I got a chance. Thats more than those with a more 'steady' profession can say.
It's hard to say I really really love what I do though. I just love the fact that I might get what we all really want and most will never even try. You might think I'm crazy. You might not at all and just be really pissed you impregnated your girlfriend. Now you dont even have a choice, you can't take chances you got other people besides yourself to worry about. I don't know. I just wanna be not here in Mahopac. But if I keep churning out sessions like I've been, I'll be moved out in no time. Gotta definitely consider moving up stakes soon. I give myself a week.
Check out how sick my session went today, way more swings than my normal session, I really didn't play my A game at all. I really got bailed out. This graph is 1,023 hands, 973 of them at 25 max, 5o hands at 50 max. 89 bucks profit. Remmber the black line in the middle is the break even mark. Anything below it means I'm down.

Sick! Sick sick sick sick sick.....

Wow what a rollercoaster ride. I was set over setted 2 times today. Both times I knew I was up against a set, and both times I put my chips in anyway. Why didn't I just fold? Cause I had a set!

The first hand this guy raises in early postion. I reraise with KK. He reraises back. I'm am now afraid I might be getting fucked here. Does this dude really have the one hand that can beat me?

The flop comes a King! Sweet I just sucked out on him even if he does have AA. He checks, I check. Turn comes an ace and I was not believing my eyes. He bets real small, and I raise, he instashoves all in. I say to myself, yep, he can't have ace king, he has to have AA in the hole. I couldn't believe that I received KK while some else had AA, then got lucky to catch a K on the flop, then an ace really had to come. So sick. So so sick. So I called his all in and sure enough he showed me pocket rockets. Good thing he didn't start the hand with a big stack. He only had like 13 bucks and I had 70 when the hand started.

Then I had a set of 333 and this fucker had 444. One a flop of A 3 4. The way he played his hand I was dead set he had trip 4's. Once again I don't fold and double him up as well. He only had like 21 bucks. So I lost over 30 bucks today on coolers.

I also got bluffed off my pocket Aces. This manic who plays under the name Annina310 was playing superloose and superaggressive. He and I were the chip leaders at our table. I raised with AA and the flop came J 3 Q. I bet pot, he calls. Turn comes J, pairing the board. I bet just under pot, he calls. River comes K. He moves all in for like 25 bucks. I deliberate and fold.I have AA in the hole on a board of J 3 Q J K. If he has 10 9 he has a straight. If he has a single J in his hand he also has me. I suspect a bluff is possible cause this guy Annina310 was such a loose cannon. But I fold. He shows me 10 3 suited. Nice bluff, props to him for bluffing the shit outta me.

Over all I make 97 bucks today. What a sick, sick day. So many sick hands. I won a huge pot off the guy who bluffed me today with a fullhouse against his trips. And I had AA vs KK and for once a K didn't hit. So I won some, lost some, but overall I made money, just like everyday. I am the man. Let's congratulate Frank who is now up over a G online. Sitting at 1044 on Pokerstars. You the man Frank. You the man. You were broke 2 weeks back and had a measly 10 bucks in your pokerstars account, now you have over a thousand. You are the man.

This is a graph of todays session, spanning about 1009 hands. It is not like the previous 2 graphs which show my overall progress, like 14k hands. This graph is just today's session. Look at all those swings, sick.....

STOCK RISING

This is an updated graph of all my sessions 4tabling 25 max NLH. On the last graph you could see a breakeven stretch that lasted approximately 4000 hands. You can see it on this graph too ofcourse. But I am glad to see this update shows a recent upswing that really seperates me from that mediocre stretch. If you study the graph, hands 5,000 through 11,000 there was limited progress. This is what happens when you have one single bad day. I had that one session on October 24th where I played bad and impatient plus I had bad luck so it cost me big time. If I played well I coulda limited my losses, say to -50 as oppossed to -124 and my graph would have seen less fluctuation. And I'd be up more. Every session matters, luckily I've only played 1 really bad one. But it should be zero. This graph logs close to 13k hands. My next 13k hand stretch I will make more than 594 dollars, I promise.


Overall the graph is going up. So the graph is good. As long as it rises, my money rises. There are fluctuations, but it keeps rising. I'm now up to 822 online. When I have 1000 I'm going to start sending myself money. I'm going to never keep more than 1k online, everytime I get to 1,100 or more I'm going to send myself a check that will reduce my balance back to 1000. When I have 1500 to my name I'm moving up to 25c 50c NLH with a 50 max buy in. Maybe 1300, I don't know. But if you look at some posts from July, I was playing it in a rather defunked mental state and breaking even. But winning sessions were very profitable, over 250 bucks usually and that was only 2 tables at a time! So 4 tabling that is jsut around the corner. I am pumped, I wanna play right now but gonna play it safe and wait till I have over 1k minimum. The worst downswing I've had playing this 25 max over the last 10 days was -190. So I can expect the worst of maybe a -400 dollar downswing playing 1 stake higher (50 max). Even though my recent downswing or long breakeven stretch was not really bad luck or variance, it was because of that stupid session where I played horribly. If I played all 10 sessions with my A game as oppossed to 8.5 out of 10 I would have seen a downswing as bad as -75 the worsr. And I would be up close to 700 instead of 594. And I would be very very close to a G in my overall pokerstars account, instead of 822 bucks. And I would already have a check on the way. One bad day fucks everything up. Gotta bring the A game all day, everday. Peace out......

YOUR VOTE MATTERS

WE HAVE A WINNER!



THANKYOU FOR YOUR VOTES ALL 19 OF U.



YOUR VOTE MATTERS. YOU HAVE A MADE A DIFFERENCE.



Kim Kardashian outfoxes Megan, making a late push to overtake the lead after trailing for 5 days by a couple of votes. No love for Jamie King who looks really hot in her post, (Martin Scorseces Casino, 10/14) and no love for Lauren Conrad or Rachel Bilson. Just 1 for Kristen Bell my personal choice. Sophia Bush also only got 1 vote and so did Lindsey Lohan. Most of the votes were spread between the two main candidates. I did not vote for our winner cause she reminds of someone I used to know.

This is not a clever way to make a political statement. I don't care whether or not you vote this Novemeber, nor do I care who you vote for or who wins. Peace to all and muchos respect for whatever your opinion is. I'm not one to get into an argument over all this political mumbo jumbo. No one really knows what goes on and people only know they are told. So the only way to truly be intelligent is to refrain and just respect everyones beliefs.

Next time, possibly within a few days I will post video for the next poll. It will be of a new rapping sensation hitting the underground freestyle scene. You will vote on whether his freestyle skills are A) Wack B) Not to good C) Decent D) Not to shabby or E) Oh my God so sick

There is mad street credit for this up and coming rapper, who supposedly has some pretty sweet ryhmes.
He is know only as 'The Bat'....................

Up to 743 online, slowly growing. At my current rate 4 tabling 25max I should have 12k in approximately 7 months.