Staying off Tilt

Hard work, it's really the only way to make money. I'll admit that in college what first attracted to me to poker was the idea that you could make money just sitting in a chair. I would soon findout that this really is not the case. Suceeding at poker is harder than anything I've ever had to do. I've somewhat made myself numb to emotion in order to be able to deal with the swings. Everything that makes you human makes you bad at poker. To be good you have to train your mind to unlearn what it is biologically made to do. You have to become a cold calculating machine, that does not feel pain, boredom, or frustration. A computer that only makes the right move all the time regardless of short term results.

I have to keep working hard now cause I'm broke. Last post I said that I went broke from not working hard enough. This is true in a way but there is also another side to it. I did play a lot online, it's not like I didn't put hours in. I just did not do well because I hate to admit but I would tilt online sometimes. And ofcourse I always played well live, but you know all the complications of being in AC.

My last post I reported I had gotten my online bankroll up to 170. Well today I am up to 227. Yesterday I dropped down to 100 from 170. It was terrible as I experienced my first tilted session since I conjured 10 bucks from nothing and began building an online bankroll from scratch. You work so hard to book a win, to make money playing. You bust your ass so much just to gain ever little inch. And then you slack off for 2 seconds, or 1 session and you lose what you make in 3 sessions of fighting, scratching and clawing for every inch you gain. Yo fuck around at all and you can lose so much. It's so much easier to drop a G than to make one, I can't even explain to you how sick it is.

It's like when your in school and you pass every class, no credit is really given to anyone, your just doing what is expected of you and life goes on. But you fail one class and your a fuckup.

Anyway being on tilt yesterday reminded me of what it was like when I used to play online. I see now that it was a combination of laziness and lack of tilt control. Yeah I suck. Let's just come out and say it. I fuckin suck at online poker. There I said it, next time you see me tell me I'm a fuckin joke and I should just do something else with my life because I'm wasting my time. I obvioucly have no control over my emtions. I'm a mess and thats why I'm broke. I did 2 days worth of posts claiming it was laziness. Bullshit sonny, I just am a tilted mess who sucks online.

Now lets look at the skill attributes you would give to a basketball player like in a video game. Let's say Micheal Jordan for example.

Shooting- A

Rebounding- B

Defense- A

Speed- A

Jump- A

Now a poker player, lets see, the 5 crucial attributes, rating Frank Carlino:

Reading Opponents: A

Game Knowledge: A

Patience: B

Tilt Control: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I guess for Live Poker it would be the same except with a B on tilt control. But recently my online progress has been going rather well. I've been staying off tilt for the most part. I've been looking after my bankroll very painstakingly and choosing the right games that will keep my bankroll growing. I made one mistake yesterday and dropped down to 100 bucks from 170. However today I've gotten my money back up to 227. So i sit at 227 now, tomorrow I will attempt to get over 300 and then I'll be ready to play 4 tables of 25 max NLH and really rake in some dough. Should get to 1k rather quickly doing that. Then I'll get some frigen money finally sent to me. Not to much though, I realize now that I really don't need to have money on me. I just spend foolishly. In the future I'm going to just keep all my money online and maybe send myself checks for just 100 bucks at a time. When I have thousands and thousands online I'll consider an alternative spending lifestyle but for now all I care about is building a bankroll.

Well anyway, the goal is to stay off tilt like I've been doing to turn my 10 measly bucks to over 200. My 200 will be 1k as long as I stay off tilt. Just play online like I do live. I truly believe my game is better than anyone's when I'm on my game. Onviously the player who stays on his game all the time is the best, so I'm not the best. But if I can stay on my game I know no one in this entire fucking world plays No Limit Holdem better than me. I've never seen anyone that can call out people's exact hole cards with the same frequency and preciseness as I do. I play online and just call out people's cards like 77 times a day. It's so easy. No one is ever there to witness it and it pisses me off. I'm going to see if I can make a video of me playing online and post it on here. it will be very entertaining to watch someone call out this many people's exact cards. Your going to think it's all a setup and people have told me secretly what they had. That's how fuckin crazy good I am at calling out people's hands.

Anyway, next post hopefully I'll have like 400 or so bucks and in week, a G. The sky is the limit as long as I stay off tilt. No one can stop me but me.