Looking toward the time when I'll look Back

Soon I'll look back on what I've done in my life and I can't help but feel if I'm 80 and remember spending my time on Earth only playing poker would be a shame. I wanna do more I guess. It would be so unfortunate if I never wrote a book that was published.

Haven't written in a while. Was thinking about titling this entry 'what a stud' cause I been playing seven card stud online recently and winning alot. But I'm leaning toward other things as of late. It seems like everytime I get on the computer I just have no desire to even play poker anymore. It's strange. It's like one day I woke up and just didn't care anymore. I can't even tell you how weird it feels. But still need money and I've been playing better online lately. I've decided to start building a bankroll from scratch and to use the 5% rule with it. Got about 800 or so online right now. Gonna use only this money to play from now on and only 5% of it a day. Gonna use the other couple a G I have left just to spend money and by the time it runs out I'll have a lot online. I have most of my funds with my friends account and 5% of it sent to me a day. This way I littlerally only have acess to 5% a day cause right after I receive it the account with all the money receives a 24 hour exclusion. After the money gets to my account there is no way to have anything else but that money till 24 hours go by. So I been receving 5% of whatever I got, it started with under 700, usually like 35-40 bucks and running it up as high as I can before sending it back and adding it back to the bankroll. There is no limit of what you can run it up to as I currently sit with 107 after receiving 40 a few hours back. You can lose it all after enough but you only start out with your original 40 and can't lose more than that in a day. So worst case scenario you drop 40. Each day that you profit rewards you with a slightly higher amount to start out with the next day. I love this system.

However i find myself only playing to make some money and get it over with. Not really loving the game as much as I once did. Not really admiring and trying to emulate people like Gus Hansen or Phil Ivey anymore. If I spent my life just doing what they did and never writing I would be so dissapointed. I don't care if I'm not the fuckin greatest living poker player anymore. Just doesn't seem to matter. I've actually been playing much better now that I don't care anymore. This new system also is sweet cause I know I can't have one of those retarded days where I lose a shitload of money ever again so I am less stressed and playing better.

I really admire someone like Seth Rogen. Pineapple Express, Superbad, Knocked Up, all those movies fuckin rule. He's been a creative mind behind all of them. They are funny and comedy driven but still have an important message to say about people. They are all great forms of art because of their distinct ability to be a silly comedy yet make us feel optimistic about life and truly state something of importance.

I still glad I am really good at poker because at any point I can always play poker just to put together some dough and still have the freedom to pursue things I truly enjoy. No one is ever going to be my boss. I may not be able to get by jsut playing online. Hell I don't even want to, but I can always go back to Atlantic City. Perhaps even out to L.A. where I can play my 30 or so hours a week and still have the freedom to pursue other interests. Think the bankroll is at like 3k or so. Peace out -Frank