Grinding

I guess to truly be successful at this its gotta be hard, a grind sorta say. Played more superlow stakes today, played mad good. Picked up another 40 profit after making 38 or so yesterday. Up about 81 in 10 hours, making 8 an hour. Sux right now but soon Ill be back at 25c 50c. It is nice to be playing within your means though. I'm gonna keep playing this bullshit, keep making a measly 8 an hour till I have 500 bucks. I got 145 now. God I hate how embarrassing playing for these small amounts is. You should read Ansky's blog:

http://www.pokersavvy.com/blog/ansky

He's much younger than me and when he talks about 25 50 stakes, hes talking about 25dollar 50 dollar with a 5000 buy in. Not 25cent 50cent. But whatever, gonna be playing low forever unless I shape up my bad habits. This is the only way to get out of it. Gonna stick with the 20 buy in rule for a while and manage money intelligently. Technically I don't even have enough to play this 5c 10c bullshit I been grinding, but can't go lower than this so I won't have an official 20 buy in bankroll for it till I make 55 more bucks. Then I'm gonna grind up to 500 smackers. That will give me 20 buyins for 25max(10c 25c) and should make 15-16 an hour or 60-100 bucks a day. Grind my way from there to 1000 bucks. Then I'm finally back to 25c 50c, my game baby. Should be able to cashout 700-1300 a week playing that every day. In the future I will look to playing even higher, but gonna worry about getting back to 1k and making some sweet cashouts first. Gotta stick with these rules all the time, and stick with my poker rules from now or I will risk falling out of the WINNING MINDSET. Which by the way feels spectacular to be back in.

The Poker Commandments
Essential rules to be read at the start of each work day. And followed!

1) You can only play when you are completely sober, no exceptions.

2) You can not play online poker, unless you have showered and dressed for the day. No playing in your fuckin pajamas.

3) You can't play a cash game unless your going to play at least 1500 hands, at most 2000 hands.

4) Only play in your room and you can't watch TV or open the door or answer the phone until the 1500th hand is complete.

5) Plan out on your computer what your going to play before each week begins. You can't just decide on the fly what your going to play. Don't fuckin go against the weekly plan, thats how you fucked up last time. When you were sticking with the weekly plan you were making 50 dollars an hour, remember how much fuckin money that is next time you wanna get off the weekly plan for a day.

6) No cash games stakes can be played without 20 buyins in your account (base bankroll) For example 1k= 50max, 2k= 100max. Don't play more than 4 tables at a time with cash games.

7) Play your A game, or no game. Exercise control and stop regardless of how much your up or down if your not playing your A game. If your on fuckin tilt, your gonna waste the money you need to make money. And then your gonna be off tilt and rebuilding later, why not just stay off tilt and play later when you still have money.

8) Always remember the calmness feeling from late January 09. Its all about the calmness. CCC, Calm, Confident, Conservative. THE WINNING MINDSET.

9) Do not play poker when you are eating, or cooking.

If your a poker player you should follow these. And if you think rule 9 is stupid kiss my ass. It's true, eating puts you in a less concentrated, more relaxed, less hard working kind of mood. Its easy to play stupid while your eating. Don't believe me, copy and paste this:

http://www.pokertube.com/Movies.aspx?movie=8734

Phil goes to get a chicken sandwich and then......... make sure to watch the next part:

http://www.pokertube.com/Movies.aspx?movie=8735

The chicken sandwich contributed to Philly's exit. I'd bet your money on it. I'd bet mine if I had any right now.

I always post hands of my nice wins but how bout one where I make a stupid mistake and get lucky on some poor sap. Remember I play as brezlin, copy and paste:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3790609P

What a sick hand, when he saw that ace on the river he probly was relieved of all worry, turns out it was the worse card possible. Damn it feels good to be back in the groove. Graph, just click it if you can't see it well:

Mindnumbingly Confident

I don't think I could lose money even if I tried right now. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me the other week. But even since last post I have been patient as a whistle. I don't know how patient a whistle is but I heard that expression before. I guess I just wanted money way to fast and was trying to send myself a check alot quicker than it was plausible to get one. I was forcing it I guess, and I really fucked myself. I was trying to win all the money in a matter of days and not exercising the patience and discipline required to win. I wasn't in THE WINNING MINDSET at all. It's crazy how it all started when I had to give Narska his money and had to cash out. Leaving me with only 250, and I couldn't take the low stakes seriously. So I went busto. Then I conjured up another 250 from tournament dollars but couldn't take the low stakes seriously again. Then I randomly had another 100, and another 200, I explained this all already, I tryed to make it all grow way to quickly and lost it. Then I was still broke and owed like 500. Just to think, just a few days back I had 250 and didn't owe shit but I was so impatient. Then all of a sudden I had zero and owed 500.
Thats when I hit rock bottom, and THE WINNING MINDSET emerged. I stated last post I had 12 dollars, lol. I said it was embarassing but I know it will grow because of the ridiculous amount of patience I felt.
Well yesterday I started with the 12 and ended with 60. Again playing low low stakes, even lower than the stakes I couldn't take seriously when I only had 250, but this time patient as whistle, in the right frame of mind and just playing hard. Today I started with 60 and pokerstars awarded me 10 free bucks because people I played against were caught colluding, there accounts were confiscated and split up between all the players they colluded against. So I started with 70. I ended today with 105. So 12, the other day, 105 today, two straight days with upswing. My mind is not bothered by the low stakes at all. I feel so good and confident and patient, its only a matter of time b4 I have a G again and will have my 20 buyins necessary to 4 table 50 max and make 40 bucks an hour.
I played 5c 10c or 10max buy in which is pretty much one fifth as big a stakes as my normal game. And I made 38 bucks in like 1300 hands. Some of the players play real real bad at those stakes, its hard to not call an all in with AK when the bet is only 4 bucks.
Its just crazy how ingrained my mind is right now into THE WINNING MINDSET. I don't think I mentally or physically could tilt off money even if I wanted to. I feel great. I'm generally in a better mood and feel very financially secure. Even food tastes better, everything is just superb.
I even am finding hot bitches to be hotter. Like how hot is Kristen Bell?

Look at this fuckin beaute. Wowza wowza wowza.
I mean this girl is so fuckin hot its crazy. She reaches levels of hotness so extreme the mind can actually mistake the physical attraction for feelings of true love.

Damn, I feel like i want to marry this girl right now. But ofcourse I don't, I don't even know her. But my mind thinks it does. I hate pitching a tent when I'm trying to write. Anyway, heres the hand of the day: http://www.pokerhand.org/?3786728P
If I smooth call the flop I still bust him, however a reraise on the flop is still the correct play. The turn coulda been a scare card. And here is a graph of the swings of the session, the green line is rising, thats all that matters.....
Thanks for all comments and support from my readers, I appreciate the encouragement. Gonna be reporting alot more graphs with upswing and hands of the day. Peace out all, yo Rob if your reading when I get some dough together we should def meet up in AC. Enjoy the rest of the posts.

The Winning Mindset

Last night I layed in bed sad about this whole month and all the bullshit I've caused myself. I was broke everywhere and owed some money, nothing I have to pay off immediately, but felt very very down. I remembered rebuilding my bankroll 2 months back and was wondering how the hell I did it. I then remembered that I can't let the dream die. Ya see when I was in college someone I loved more than life itself bounced out, never to return. I spent a long time very distraught and lost. I'll always remember this one night where I finally saw a version of the future that made me feel reaziliant. I don't care if thats not how you spell reaziliant.

I had a vision of being out of college and being on my own, living in Las Vegas and playing poker full time, with a big bankroll and freedom from societal obligations. And then truly enjoying life like I have never been able to, and making happen what I had at college at one point. I set out to make it happen that night and it was the only thing that made me feel better. I began to come out of the trance that this beautiful angel had left me in.

I was so close this last week to giving up on the dream and just being like everyone else. I wanted to just work and never play again. Then I remembered that vision of the future and felt like it may not be as unrealistic as I felt like it was lately. A deep soothing calmness came over me. I played a sit and go tourny with more patience that I have ever played anything. I reached the money and had 11 tournament dollars to my name. I nursed a shortstack back to respectability to slide into the money, when I was down to almost nothing for 3-4 rounds.

I awoke this morning in the same relaxed calm confident mindset. I've played very very low stakes all day and have tryed very very hard regardless. I look back at some of the success I had and see that anyone who can win large amounts of cash everyday for a month obviously has some ability. And the losing streaks are not a function of luck, but of the truly patient mindset fleeing. The only obstacle to overcome is to stay in the mindset I am in now forever. When I do I can make the dream happen. I just wrote this:


-The Winning Mindset-

The winning mindset is one of patience, and wisdom, true understanding of the game and possibly even life itself. Understand that the game is bigger than you and the world does not revolve around you. Your not entitled to anything, there is no such thing as luck. To feel like you are unlucky cause you lost a hand is adolescant and dispicable. The winning mindset is oblivious to emotions caused by swings. Swings will always be there, as inevitable as the air we breathe. If you could see through a players cards you would still have downswings. Everytime you fold, it's a mini downswing. In the longrun the luck will even out. In the short term you experience extremely lucky runs of cards or extremely unlucky runs of cards. We must remember that in the wrong mindset unlucky runs will cause us to lose our money fast, and lucky runs will cause us to lose our money slow. In the winning mindset unlucky runs will only temporarily stall or set us back, and lucky runs will fill our pockets with cash at an hourly rate that will destroy that of any occupation we could get.

The winning mindset causes an inevitable upswing, the wrong mindset causes an inevitable downswing. Keep up the winning mindset and stay on the upswing. May the Lord strike me dead if I ever waste another dollar playing foolishly or without giving my all. May the tilt monster forever sleep. I hereby pledge to spend the rest of my days in the WINNING MINDSET.

Day 1 January 27, 2009 Began with 0 real dollars and 11 tourny dollars. Ends with 26 tournament dollars and 12 real dollars.

Categorization: UPSWING.


Its very embarrassing to have 12 dollars right now, but whatever no one reads this shit. It will be more tomorrow. And I know it will keep growing, cause of the ridulously patient mindset I am currently entranced in. I need to find a really sexy girl for this post, its a special one.

What the F...........? Feels wrong to curse in a Title

Ladies and gentleman I have bottomed out. Shit. I have nothing more to say than I am broke. I feel like I have no confidence anymore. I feel like I can't rebuild from zero again. I've been trying to do it but can't stand not having money on me. So I'm going crazy trying to stay in my house low stakesing it up. I am so so so so so fuckin bummed out right now. Shit.
I probly shouldn't of quit my job last year. I wish everything was just back to normal. Let me basically explain what happenned.
Me and my friends went to Atlantic City. I for some reason played really really bad poker the whole time. I should of just played craps or blackjack if I was going to play this bad. Tom said it was no problem that he keep lending me. By the end of the trip after rooms, alcohol, food, and losing, I owed him 1200 fuckin dollars.
So I go home and play online and I'm winning all this money each day and just sending it to him. Sending it to him, sending it to his account. And going more frustrated each time I can't send it to myself. Finally he has to go back to England where he lived and says he needs all the money back now. I had paid him like 6 or 7oo already but he needs the rest. So I have to take all the money off pokerstars I had to give it to him. I thought it wouldn't matter when I gave it back but he got his fuckin wisdom teeth taken out and it cost him 1500 bucks. So I cashed out like 500 online and only had 200 left. I paid him his money and still had no money on me.
So now I'm fuct. I got like 200 online and am trying to play lower stakes and take it seriously, so I lose the 200. And I still have no spending money on me.
Then I used all my frequent player points to get enter free tournies and get tourny bucks. I turned that into 250. Then played lower stakes again got up to like 400 then went insane from all the low stakes and not having spending money and lost all that.
Then I used some for frequent player points and had 200 again, but went crazy again and lost that. I had another 100 at some point but lost it. And had another 300 yesterday and lost it. So now I'm broke everywhere and I owe like 400 or 500.
I can't seem to take anything seriously unless I have the G in my account I need and can 4 table 50 max. I don't know how I started with like 10 bucks last month and got it all the way to a 1000. Like what the fuck did I do? How patient was I being? What decisions did I make?
I don't know but I'm going to look back through this blog and find out exactly what I was doing.
Its not Toms fault, but he really fucked me by having me cash out. Fuck. This January has been a horrid month. I feel like shit. I haven't had the proper bankroll to paly my usual game since 2008. I havent had any dough on me. I wish I never went to AC and fucked myself.
Its all my fault. And no elses but my own. I kind of want my job back, but they hate me overthere now for quitting. Fuck.
I wish things were back to normal and I had my job again and I played poker on the side to make extra. I really didn't think this through. I feel like I fucked my whole life up. I have been given so many oppurtunities I throw them all away to play poker. But poker makes me insane. The more I play the crazier I become. It's good money, and really is a game of skill, but its so hard to maintain that winning edge. The insanity always gets to me.
Heres a hand that drives me fuckin insane: http://www.pokerhand.org/?3771072P

This fuckin dooshbag calls my raise preflop, fine. Then he bets out on the flop. Now by betting out, he's saying, let me see what this guy does. He's saying I have JJ and I may be up against QQ KK or AA and are beat. So he bets out to see what I do.
I have nothing, A8 high. But see an oppurtunity to bluff. I know it's not going to work. But cause I'm a sick fucker I have to try and believe this person is not a fuckin idiot and will do the smart, prudent thing and say "Well my hand is strong, but I am beat, I will fold."
So I'm putting him on pocket 10's. And I know he is making a feeler bet. These idiots who make feeler bets they only go with the first part and they abandon the second. The first part is you bet out and see if you get raised, if you get raised you are probly beat, if you don't, your good. A feeler bet is like a probe, it gathers info.
So I know he's doing that, so i tell him, your asking me a question with your bet, your gonna fold to a raise, so I'll raise you. I move in, knowing he has 10 10 in the hole and has to fold. So after I go all in, he hesitates for 2 seconds. Just enough time for him to say to himself, wow this dude does have AA, or KK, or QQ, my JJ is no good. But fuck it I'll call anyway.
And he calls.
Do you know what this means!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you fuckin know what this shit means people? Its means you'll always be able to make money playing this game, because no one has any fuckin discipline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had AA or KK or QQ know what woulda happend? He woulda gave me all his fuckin money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So everytime you have it and they make these feeler bets, just move the fuck in. They will call! KNow why? Cause they can't see your fuckin cards and you might be bluffing! Thats thyere logic, these fuckin pieces of shit. Well he might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it. He might not have it.
JUST BET IT ALL WHEN YOU GOT IT, And don't make bluffs like I do that won't work cause it's only gonna work if the palyer has discipline. And don't tell me he had a read on me and knows I'm bluffing. I fucking reraised preflop!
I hate everyone! I am going insane. No one folds, no one ever fuckin folds and I have never have shit.
What the fuck? How did everything become all fucked up. I fuckin paid Tom 1000 fuckin dollars back in 3 weeks. I could use a loan if some one would like to help. If you think I will never pay you back your fuckin crazy. You can ask anyone who knows me I always pay back. So if you read my blog and wanna help me out I would appreciate it. I am in deep shit right now. Thanx- Frank

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE

I may have mentioned this previously in another post. But I played poker with this older guy in AC months back. He told me that "The only difference between a professional poker player and an amateur is a professional has no other way to make money when he's running bad."
I used to think the title of amateur was so negative. You gotta realize in this day and age there are a lot of good players and it doesn't have to be the only thing you do in order to be a good player.

I can't seem to not go insane from playing. I had a conversation with my friend Kirk a while back. We always talk about how so many people don't understand how you really can do this for a living and make lots of dough. The thing is when your playing against people your better then you simply make a profit over time, luck is irrelevant. You have an edge, and it equals profit, the same way a slot machine has a house edge over the players that transfers to profit over time.

However we did agree on one thing. Poker is guaranteed money as long as you play well and bring the A game all the time. But like I've said a million times b4 everytime you bring anything less than the A game it costs you. And the edge slips away, and no profit can be made.

And I guess I have to admit it on this blog. I can't guarantee that I can keep up the A game. I can't guarantee I won't go insane. I've had lots of good long streaks of consistency, but I don't know. I just can't guarantee I can not lose my mind.

Maybe when I have more money to work with things will be different. I don't wanna commit to something else because I will lose the freedom poker offers. Cash games just slowly make me insane. Heres a thread I just started on twoplustwo http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/15/poker-theory/dont-hell-call-393573/

I still wanna make it work. I miss living in AC. Need money. Got no bankroll to work with. Buy my car. So bummed at the moment. I'm sure things will improve soon enough, just sucks right now. But even when I do have money, isn't it just a matter of time b4 I lose my fuckin mind again. I'm in quite the quandry right now. Cheer up, Kelly Kapowski is here!

Very very cool

You know what? I've been talking about getting a hand replayer quite some time. And now I have a bootleg one. I wish it could be copy and pasted right onto this page but I can't get that set up right now. But all you have to do is click a link cause I joined this hand replayer website. Very very cool stuff here. I am going to start playing cash games within like a week. And I'm going to post a link to the hand of the day monday through friday. Cause I'm gonna grind out cash games, 1500 hands 5 days a week and have weekends off. Saturday I won't play any poker. And Sunday is going to be dedicated to either playing the Sunday Million or playing satellites to try and get in or stocking up on tournament bucks so I can possibly play the next week. Gonna do a lot of work and be miserable but won't be very broke, actually quite the opposite. Misery is a strong word for hard work.

Misery leads to money. Money leads to chillin. Chillin leads to being broke. Being broke leads to misery. Misery leads to money. And on, and on.

MORE MONEY is the answer.

Well I gotta make another 750 dollars till I can 4 table 50max again and pull in 1200 a week. I intend to stay here and make enough cashouts until I conjure up a bankroll thats respectable. Along with the hours of tournament dollar stock up time and tournaments that may accelerate my profits. I've conjured 250 dollars out of zero in the last few days. Not alot of moeny at all, but considering I've conjured it from thin air it's good.

To ensure I don't have to deal with with rebuilding bullshit anymore I'm going to take the following steps with this routine:

1) 70 fpp warmups (tourny dollar stockup)
2) 1500 hands minimum, 2000 maximum 25c 50c NLH 6max cash - 4 tabling
3) Use 11 tourny dollars to play a Heads Up No Limit Holdem sit and go until you win one, than:
4) Play HU cash 25c 50c with the 25 bucks, run the 25 as high as possible, if you lose you can't take another shot until the next day
5) Once the 1500 hands and the sit and go and the HU cash session is done poker is over for the day unless you wanna play 70 FPPs (tourny dollar stockup)
6) Blog, post hand of the day on hand replayer

Number 4) is my high percentage of failure yet low risk high reward scheme. I'll have already made money that day playing 6 max and I'm gonna cap it off with a Heads Up cash game where I can either win or lose a shitload. But I'll only be using 25 dollars a day for that, and no more. It'll either turn into zero very quickly, which will be irrelevant anyway cause its only 25. And occcasionally it'll turn into 200-400. Worst case scenario is I drop 125 a week assuming I lose the 25 all 5 cash game days.

The rest of the time can be used gaining tourny dollars so I can have free buyins to satellites and regular tournys. Thats how I've conjured to 250 real dollars I have now out of thin air. All by just using my frequent player points to enter free tournies and winning tourny dollars. Then using those tourny dollars to enter real tournaments and getting real dollars. As long as I keep earning FPP's I'm good. I'm all out now, they been used up. But soon I will use my real money to play cahs games and earn more.

Cash games lead to Frequent Player Points. FPPs lead to tourny dollars. Tourny dollars lead to real dollars. Real dollars lead to cash games. Cash games lead to FPPs.

Heres and example of the hand replayer I have now. Click this link to see this great hand I played a month ago. My screename on pokerstars is Brezlin. Scroll down to the bottom of the poker table and hit play. http://www.pokerhand.org/?3717989P

I guess copy and paste it. Sorry. This idiot with pocket aces makes a really really really really really bad call. This is such an easy fold for him with all the action and such a scary flop that its not even worth mentioning how bad this guy plays. It should just be assumed. But some people don't play to much so I have to tell you, this guy who plays as NOOZ, I find his poker IQ so dispicable I would actually choose to not converse with him in a social setting. I'm serious, I wouldn't be friends with this guy. This is why poker is so annoying, you can't bluff anyone ever, no one lays anything down. I don't wanna use the word hate, but this guy really erks me. And these are the people who I make money off, yet they still get to me. It's not even about the money. It's just, how can you be so stupid? Is the human race in trouble?

Just gotta make 750 more bucks and I'm up and running. With a new hand to post monday through friday. Peace out all.

My Apologies

I haven't written in a long time due to an unfortunate chain of events that is currently being rectified. I owed my buddy Tom 12oo bucks and had to pay him back sooner than I thought cause he got his wisdom teeth taken out. Jackass.
So I cashed out a lot of money to pay him on short notice. Now I'm rebuilding slowly and carefully, will be up and running and cashing out soon, less than a week. But it's been taking a while and I have not written since I have nothing to say about poker. I am very excited about some new plans I'm going to incorporate into my daily money getting routine. I have some high percentage of failure yet low risk but extremely high reward type of plans. Gotta get a G back on Stars first, taken my time. I got xbox360 so I haven't wanted to play as much too, lol.
However in a couple of days I'll have my routine going again and the xbox360 will help me make money online cause I'll have something else to do besides fuck around and 'gamble' when I've ready played a serious 1500 hand session. This along with my high percentage of failure yet low risk, very high reward type plans should accelerate my money saving. I'm not going into details right now about what it is. Don't want people stealing my ideas.
I not longer wish to talk about BBL on this website and have mixed feelings about bringing that up so many times. Gonna concentrate more on money and poker and will possible be introducing a hand replayer, be able to visualize for you the most intriguing hand of each session. I keep forgetting this is a poker website.
Poker is a great game. Treat your opponents with respect, and when they suck out on you don't be an asshole to them. Appreciate the game for what it is, if you lose I by product of someones mistake, shake it off and smile. Don't make poker miserable for everyone at the table. The game is bigger than you.
I found an incredibly hot picture of this girl who will remain nameless up top. Thats part of the reason I wrote today. I'll get back to you once my account is back in shape. I play as Frizanko on xbox live find me and play me in Madden if you have it. You don't have it? Get it, now. Peace. No who else is hot? You ever watch Double Shot at Love? One of the lesbians who got booted like 3 weeks back. Jen, the skinny blind. I bet I could convert her. Not that I think I'm like so goodlooking I just think I could talk her into it. I would like a try, it would an interesting challenge. Have you ever tried converting a lesbian? Let me know. I feel more comfortable trying to convert a lesbian than a regular girl cause then at least theres no pressure. If she turns you down at least your not saying to yourself "What is so great about these other guys compared to me? I think she's crazy, I'm fine. But that sucks she sees something she doesn't like."
At least with a lesbian you'd be saying "Well, it's not my fault she likes girls, nothing I can do." So theres not rejection to deal with really.
It'd be pretty funny if she's like shouting out at you after while "I AM NOT INTERESTED! I DON'T LIKE GUYS."
And you kept saying "Come on. I know you want to." Or "It's because I'm fat? It' because I clean pools?"
This entity of the female persuasion I used to hang out with alot called me the other day and pretended she wanted to hang out just to get some kid's cell number. It was one of those obvious situations where it would have been better off if she just said "Hey Frank I'm not calling cause I wanna chill or anything just need a number." Thats what I woulda said. Who cares, just be honest. It's not like I give a shit whether you call or not.
Leave me comments, peace out.