Cutie Pies in Track Suits

See theres my kind of girl. She's wearing a female version of my usual outfit. The ol' tracksuit look with a feminine twist. She looks so comfortable, she would fit nicely next to me in my dark blue track suit. If your a hot girl that walks around in such clothing types as the one above you should leave a comment and schedule a meeting. Who knows maybe people are reading. I got 6 votes so far on my latest poll. so that means I got at least 6 people who read. Thank you to all. And the best part is that I didn't bother mad people I know to visit this site and vote. I didn't say anything this time, just wrote it, posted it and 6 people voted. So I'm happy I at least have some people who enjoy reading. Thanx for voting and thanx to whoever it was who told the truth and answered 'not really'. I'd rather hear the truth. 4 people so far voted 'yes, fo sho' thank you as well. If 4 people will read my book then thats enough to motivate me to get it done.

I decided to just cash out that last 100something bucks. Last post I said I was going broke, so I said screw it and just cashed it out, figure do something semi intelligent for once. Its not a lot of money and will be gone in like 2 days but at least I get something instead of just wasting it. That whole day with the 95 suited, and the fullhouse vs straight flush, it just fucked me so bad. I shoulda cashed out immediately, I would have 250 on its way to me instead of 108.

These reasons for cashing out, and reasons for stressing out are all rather ridiculous reasons to complain about poker. They are relatively standard events in the live of serious players. It seems at first glance that I'm being a little bitch. But really the financial situation I currently am in is what is making it all to much to deal with right now. Otherwise I would find it all funny in a sick sort of way.

I realize I need to drastically change my financial situation before pursuing poker full time. I didn't start with enough money, definately don't have enough now, and am going to inevitably keep going in circles unless I start over. So no big deal, its not the end of the world.

Once I have the bankroll making money at poker is going to be easy for me again like it has been for long periods of time in the past. I complain alot but if you really think about it, shit ain't so bad. I'm always gonna have another way to make income aside from a job. So I can always do both. It hasn't really benefitted me that much to focus all my energy on poker and neglect all else, but putting my poker skills to better use and less use will always be a very nice advantage in life.

The time will come to pursue poker and only poker in the future, but for now gotta really build up a bankroll through any means necessary. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. Its doesn't make you any less of a player to have other sources of income. For the longest time I believed it did. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

I'm gonna take this bartending course, get a part time job tending bars. This is one of those hidden jobs that pay well and anyone can do. If I do this and play poker there is no way any of my friends my age will be able to ever beat me in a timed money making contest. I was a pretty conistent full time poker player when I was in AC, averaging 20 bucks an hour lifetime, (300 hours worth) not including the little tourny I chopped for like 6 hundo profit. So yeah, I mean live poker pretty much is guaranteed income over time. So I always have the option of moving back there, getting a bartending job and playing semi full time. I'll be raking in the dough. And my overall sucess at poker will be easier to obtain if I am also bartending, cause then I know I have some room for error. Won't be all buggin out and worried at times.

Thats what playing and working is all about. Just doing both until I have so much money I feel comefortable just playing. I've never had enough money to feel comefortable with just playing. When I quit my old job I only had 7 grand. Not enough. I need like 30k and then I'll consider quitting, maybe. But I don't know, I think I'll like bartending for some reason. It is after all the only job I'll even consider doing.

So all the poor life decisions really aren't that bad when you think about it. You can't really say I've wasted a bunch of time, because there is no way I would as good at poker as I am if I wasn't so obsessed with it. I'm going to be one your normal people for a while and feel I have a great skill up my sleeve.

Any losing I reported on this site, and sometimes alot, which may make it seem like I'm really not that good. Well let me tell ya, most of my bad streaks come from circumstances outside of the game itself. Much like what I've been talking about this whole post. Getting more financially stable will enable me to always stay on the upswing. It's just been so hard an frustrating at times, and outside reasons have taken their toll.

I sometimes wonder if people read this and just think I suck and am in denial. They say some terrible losing streaks and figure I really need to stop playing cause I suck, and if I'm not making enough dough I must suck. I assure you life is more complicated than this. Things are never what they appear to be at first glance. You gotta look deeper. If other people tryed to do what I have they would be heavily in debt.

I'm looking forward to having 3 bank accounts. 1) a poker bankroll 2)expense account
3) savings account

I plan on never playing poker with more than 5% of my poker bankroll on the line. I've never been able to do this. And soon enough I will be. I also want to always have the same amount of money in each account. So lets say I have 9,000 dollars. I would not be able to ever touch 3,000 and then have 3,000 more in an expense account to pay bills and just have fun with and then have 3,000 for poker, in which I can play with 150 at a time.

I would have loved to be able to set all this up just playing poker. Honestly it wasn't like it was impossible to make happen. But it was to hard for me, partly due to the swinginess of poker, partly due to being irresponsible and chillin to much. And also partly due to the fact that I have some kind of sick mental condition where I don't let myself have sucess just despite myself. I'm my own worst enemy. We've gone over this.

It's not the end of the world. And I DON'T CARE ANYMORE about being the greatest living poker player. I just wanna make money, and I know I can make a lot. Just gonna have to wait a little bit before I can have absolute freedom from the man again. I screwed it up the first time. Live and learn.

I always preach that in poker you can't wine about bad beats. Your not entitled to anything. You don't deserve anything, the game is bigger than you and it doesn't care what you want. If you take a bad beat you suck it up and move on. If you let it effect you your just gonna be a loser. You gotta keep climbing and eventually you make it. You gotta keep fighting and clawing your way through the game. No one's graph goes straight up, not even Jesus remember? Everyones graphs have rifts, small downswings, but if your a winner the upswings will more than compensate. But there will always be bad beats and the second it gets to you, the second you stop grinding, climbing, whatever you wanna call it, its a free fall. You will fall fast and far, far down. Life is like this, and for a long time I think I didn't apply this poker wisdom to life. I think I just felt like I deserved certain sucesses. I don't deserve anything. I've taken some bad beats, really, really bad ones in life and sometimes feel like I deserve to catch all the cards in the world, everytime I sit down. Such an ignorant outlook. I deserve nothing. Gonna have to join the man for a bit, maybe a while, gonna suck. But I guess I have to do it. Why should anything be easy for me? It sure as hell shouldn't. Life is very random not fair, and hard.
People think poker is a rough game cause of the bad beats and the brutal short term luck factor. If you really think about its the fairest game in the world. The river doesn't discriminate, it drowns everyone from time to time.