Got my Money Finally!

Yeah baby, I sent myself a G last week after I got my account up to 2k, sent myself half, resetting back to 1K. Today 1,000 bucks showed up in my checking account. That has to last me till I get another 1,000 sent which should take a while now because I have been screwing around with the other thousand I left in my account and now have much less. So I have to make alot now to even get back to 1,000 before I can even think about getting to 2,000 so I can send myself 1000. I think last post I said I was never gonna do this again, and had that whole yada, yada, thing. And I said I was gonna keep busting my ass and keep up the great progress and have another G sent to me in no time. Well I guess I lied. Gonna take a while to get more money sent now. But the good news is that I know I am capable of doing it. I pretty much can win whenever I wanna win. You would figure after a stretch longer than a week where I averaged over 200 profit everyday without a single losing day that I would smarten up. After making 1600 bucks profit in like a week only working like 4 hours a day, and then promising to keep it up and never screw around again, you would think that would be enough to shape up.

Now I gotta make like 200 or 300 more just to have enough to in my account to 4 table 50 max again. Geez......... Why do I constantly give myself more work to do. I honestly should have cashed out over 2k by now have alot more money sitting on my stars account as we speak. I've achieved probly 40% of the profit I should have by now.

I guess I just enjoy gambling more than anything. It sucks. Now when I say gambling I mean playing poker not to my full ability. Just saying fuck it and reraising people just cause. And calling people with weak hands just cause. And chasing, and bluffing to much and just having a blast. Avoid doing all the things that I normally do. Avoid all the discipline and patience I have learned translates into winning sessions. It seems like anything in life that is good for you is hard. Anything that is bad is easy and fun. I really love playing poker on my computer when I'm not exactly sober or not in the mood to try really hard. But it justs costs me so much money that I work so hard to get. Now I have so much shit to do b4 I get more money sent to my checking account.

I thought going broke was a wake up call but it wasn't. I realize that I love gambling foolishly more than any leisurely activity there is. When I'm working hard and busting my ass at poker and staying in a routine or set schedule, it's really good money and life feels rewarding but theres no excitement......... It's always a matter of time b4 I donk of 700-900 bucks one night.

I guess its time to show all ya all my overall graph since I began rebuilding my bankroll in mid October. I really don't wanna but maybe it'll motivate me to stop screwing around.

Notice how when the graph is steadily rising there are little tiny downswings, but the graph continues on a steady incline? Well those are mini downswings cause by luck variance, in which skill always overcomes in time. But the huge lumps, or the green line on a steady decline are caused by me 'screwing around' these are not caused by luck variance or lack of skill, just me screwing around. After the first decline I start rising again, around the top of the incline is where I cashed out. Since then I've been declining again. Allthough my graph still remains much higher than 0 and way far from losing, I still am down from my high point and not up nearly what I should be. The 2 large downswings should never even have happened. And the 2nd upswing should have started right where my first upswing stopped. If there was never that first downswing the overall highpoint of the graph would be much higher. You get me? The only downswings in the graph should be the small ones that are cause by luck variance. Yet I continue to manufacture more ways to lose money. As if theres not enough already in poker.

I wanna say that I promise to never do it again but who would take it seriously, I don't even. I hope I don't have to go broke again to start playing well again. I feel like some other part of me subliminally wants me to lose it all so I would just stop playing this game cause I hate dealing with people so much. It's like theres two Franks and I don't know which one is gonna show up. Well at least I know I'm capable of making alot of dough whenever I want. Some poker players graphs look like this and they try their hardest all the time. Neverthless I am going to try and smooth out those annoying ripples of my graph from now on and show you a steady incline from now on. No more annoying downward curves in my graph. I'm just gonna concentrate on getting a G back in my account so I can turn over a new leaf starting December 1st and have the kind of conistent month I said November was gonna be. I know I can make 5k in december, its all on me.

It would be funny if this time next month I'm talking about my new years resolution being you know what.

Sleep schedule making me crazy

Well times are good, the Knicks are above .500 at 6-5 and the Jets are 7-3. And I'm winning as well. The Knicks are winning, the Jets are winning, and I'm winning! Yesterday I had a ridiculous cash session where I made 375 profit. That fits in nicely with all the cash sessions I reported on in last post. Since November 14, since I've had enough money to 4 table 50 max buyin NLH I have made 1400 bucks in 6 days. Yesterday was my biggest cash since I began rebuilding in October. So I've come a long way and now expect to clear a G every week just by putting 4 hours of hard work a day. I wanna get today's session over with right now but I feel like I'm not exactly in the mindset at the moment. I feel like I'm not going to play well for some odd reason.

I think it has to do with my current sleep schedule. It's very annoying how I am awake right now and have been for 4 and half hours and most people wont be up for another 2 hours. It's 6:30am and I've been up since 2 am. I slept from 5pm to 2am.

Alot of people think I sleep all day but fail to see that I don't sleep all day or anymore than most people. I just sleep at different times and it makes it appear that I'm always sleeping. But while other people are asleep I'm awake doing shit. I don't go up to them at 3 a.m. and call them a lazy fuck and tell them to wake up just becuase I am awake. Thats why I don't understand why people come in my room at 3pm and call me out. It's like they're stupid enough to assume I actually went to bed the same time they did and I'm still asleep. It's really ridiculous how many people are so quick to make assumptions and jump to rash judgements without considering what the whole story may be. Haters man, haters. To many people in this world are shitty people.

Anyway it is kind of annoying the schedule I'm on the last few days. I'm waking up while everyone is sleeping and then I'm in my house working while theyre just getting up or starting work. I'm chillin while people are still at work. And then by the time everyone is off I'm passed out. By the time I wake up everyone else is passed out. Haven't had much of a social life lately and it's really annoying.

Everytime I keep myself awake to try and get back on everyone else's schedule its a real pain in the ass and it only lasts for like a week once I'm back on schedule. Cause I eventually have a shift. It's not like my schedule is just the opposite of everyones, its consistently changing. I think it shifts an hour everyday. Like a few weeks back I was sleeping from 9 am to 5pm. Then 10am to 6pm. Right now its 5pm to 2 am. Tomorrow it might be 7pm to 4 am. It's like there will be window where you can hang out with me when you get off work every other week.

In AC everyone is always up all the time, but not really people I know. So I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I can try to get my self on better schedule where I fall asleep at like 3 am and get up at 11am or noon. Then I can finish playing by 5 or 6pm. And everyone will be off work. But if I kept this up I'd still have to kind of make myself sleep at certain times which defeats the whole purpose of being a poker player and being free to do what you want when you want. So I really am at a loss for words here. Theres really no way to stop the shifts that get my sleep schedule off base with everyone elses. I have already vowed to be so good at poker that I will never again in my lifetime hear the ring of an alarm clock, ever, ever, again.

I think this is why I don't feel like beginning a 1500 hand session right now. Cause I haven't done enough chillin lately and need to let loose and don't feel like dealing with serious poker playing right now. I fear getting on some sort of a schedule may be crucial to keep up the progress I have over the past 6 days. I gotta do this for a full year. Figure every 7 days I make money at least 6 of em and take 1 day off. So I have already made 1400 the past 6 days and I can take today off I guess. If I keep up this routine, assuming I work 6 days a week and 50 weeks a year, I will make about 70k per year. Not bad considering that I only play 4 hours a day. I been winning at a rate of 41 dollars an hour since Nov 14th. Which is double my AC hourly rate.

If I move there and keep my normal online routine which only takes 4 hours each day, and then play live poker at night, were talking about pulling in 2k a week barring any really unfortunate circumstances.

Yeah so anyway I think I might avoid cash games today. I'm playing a step 1 sattelite tournament on pokerstars as we speak. It costs me 2,000 Frequent Player Points to get in. I now have 18k FPPs left. There is 85 players in this tounry and the top 9 players will get a free seat in the real satellite. Assuming I place top 9 today I will be playing in the real satelitte on Sunday. In Sundays tourny 18 players out of probly over 100 will receive an free entry into the Asia Pacific Poker Tour- Sydney main event. Which cost 6 grand to get in. The 18 satelitte winners will also receive 2,500 cash and free hotel accomadations in Sydney Australia.

So all I have to do is come in top 9 right now, only 47 players left, I need a double up bad though. Then come in top 18 sunday out of however many there are, then go to Australia and just win that 6k buy in tourny and bam, I'm a millionaire by 2009. Easy, piece of cake. I really just wanna make it to Australia and then I don't care what happens. 2.5k cash would be nice too. Man PokerStars really treats its players well. I'm probly not gonna make it but at least they're giving me a chance and its not costing me money. By the way you can't just start an account right now and do this, you have to be a VIP member and have alot of FPPs. So if you want to, get started already, its not gonna happen over night.

I really should set aside this 1 day a week to play these satelittes. Its the only way I'm ever gonna be on TV. Only 35 players left but I'm really low in chips. I need a double up bad. I have AQ suited, I'm moving all in....... I won the blinds, still hurting though. I just got AK and moved all in again and lost to Q10 suited. K hit flop but J on turn gave my opponent a straight. I'm out in 33rd place......

Anyway, to revert back to the sleep schedule thing I talked to this guy in Atlantic City about life as a proffessional poker player and he was saying he has a job just to keep himself sane. And how when he was my age it was important to him to be a pro and make a living that way. But now that he is 33 he can see that it wasn't necessarily the best thing for him. And he said that the only real difference between a professional poker player and an amateur is that a pro has no other way to get money when he is running bad. You can still be a serious poker player and a winning player and your no less of a player just because your not a full time pro. He said he was a pro for years but now has a job he doesnt need just to keep him sane. I can see where he's coming from, he saw alot of himself in me and we talked for a bit. I don't know if I see myself doing anything else but when I'm 30, maybe. I still would like to write a whole novel but can't seem to commit.

I'm gonna play cash for a little bit, I need to get my account up to 2k so I can get a damn check already, 175 more to go and I can send myself a G. Another 6 hours b4 I have another shot at that APPT satelitte to a satellite. To much of your dismay I have to remove a very nice picture from an October post entitled 'Feelin Good' I did not realize how much that girl from the new 90210 resembles the likes of BBL. I can not believe I didn't see it until now but its def coming down even though its a great picture. Every fuckin time I see it its like looking at BBL, the resamblance and the body type is crazy, not usually though, just in that one particular photo. It's coming down asap. Sorry, I'll post another of today's fineass baby doll that should ease your pain. Peace out all..............

Great Comedy is Important

Okay I would just like to say that my friend Rich is the man because he knows great comedy and is willing to sacrifice his own personal welfare in order to delivery a great comedic line. Let me explain, on Halloween this putz dressed up as Sarah Palin. Yeah thats right, and he looked pretty hilarious. So anyway, some one stole the keg from the party we were at and we all ran after them. So Rich, or should I say Mrs Palin, is now in these strangers house yelling that he wants his keg back. They were pretty stunned that a man dressed up like a woman was intruding into their house and accusing them of thievery. It wasn't that big of a schock because it is a college town and it was Halloween, but still the whole scenario was pretty ridiculous. After a few minutes of arguing these kids forcefully remove Rich/Mrs Palin from the house. And as their throwing him out, literally at the same moment he is being tossed out the door, he actually had the presence of mind to shout "Vote republican!"

That my friends, is comedic genius. When you are in danger or some kind of less than perfect situation and all you care about is great comedy, thats an admirable qulaity we should all emulate. From now on I don't care about my well being all I care about is delivering that perfect line. Don't miss your oppurtunity for great comedy, when the situation is right and a great line is necessary you must seize the day.

I will always regret this one missed oppurtunity for great comedy and it pains me to this day. Ya see in my 2nd semester at college I had a suitemate who didn't have any friends on the floor. I was friends with most people on the floor as was everyone except my suitemate. So naturally conflict soon arose when I always had people over in the common room and he didn't ever want company and always went to bed early. Anyway there was like 10 kids in our common room one night and we were playing poker, it was late. We made so much noise that my suitmate finally snapped. He lost it! He barged out of his room and was screaming at the top of his lungs! He came over to the poker table and with one swipe of his arm knocked over all the chips onto the floor. He was like a wild monkey, it was nuts! He wanted to kill me, literally. He then began ripping the cards up, and we all sat their stunned. It was quite the scene. He stormed out of the room and everyone was quiet with disbelief. I sat in my seat, holding half a playing card, the chips were everywhere in the room, scattered. And everyone was silent.

Lord if only I broke the silence by pretending the game was still going and uttering "check"

How hilarious would that have been. Everyone is mortified and doesn't know what to say, the chips are all over the place, the game is obviously done, if only I said 'check' like nothing happenned. God I wish I could have that moment back. I would have been a legend among all comedians.

Anyway just remember what I said, great comedy is imprtant and I'd be willing to take a punch as long as I can deliver a great one liner. I've made one thousand dollars in the last 5 days. I am the man. I've got the bankroll now to make 200 day with ease. Gonna do 200 a day for a while, check should be coming soon. I am the man. I am the man. But I wish I was the comic legend that would of said 'check'
So I've set a goal to make 200 a day since Nov 14th. November was suppossed to be turning over a new lead but you remember how I got high and lost, go back to the post 'yada, yada, yada'
I don't wanna explain it. But since I got back on track I been doing great. So from Nov 14th I've started a clean slate and have reached my goal, averaging 200 a day. I play a minimum of 1500 hands and a max of 2000 everyday then I stop. This system is great. Here's my stats since the 14th:

Nov 14: +279
15th: +132
16th: +375
17th: +39
18th: +215

I am the man. I still have a big problem with being done after only 4 hours and then wanting to play more cause I'm bored and just wanna kill time. But playing just to pass time and not being very serious only leads to money loss so I really just gotta stop after I fill the day's quota of 1500 hands. But it's hard. I'm up close to 2k since I started rebuilding exactly 1 month ago. I should be up 3k but you know, "read yada,yada,yada" God, if I didn't do that I'd have so much more money. But it doesn't matter just gotta stay on this track like I have since Nov 14th and in a year I'll be up 50 grand. Heres a graph of my progress since the 14th, my overall graph is still good but it has a huge downswing in it cause of what I did last weekend, so check this on instead:

Yada Yada Yada

U ever see that Seinfeld where someone is telling a story and they wanna leave out the embarassing part so they fill that part of the sentence with yada, yada, yada?

Well I haven't written in a while because the other night I was not exactly sober to a rather extreme degree and yada yada yada, then I had to some bankroll rebuilding.

Still doing well though after a 3-4 day downswing caused by pure stupidity and laziness and nothing to do with luck variance. Yada yada yada I'm back on track now.

Gonna make 200 a day for a little bit till I get my account up to 2k, then send out a check for 1k and then start the process over again. Resetting back to 1k until getting back to 2k and then sending for another 1k check. I call this process 1k flips. In the future I will look at possibly doing 2k flips, 3k, 4k, 5k flips would be sick. Nevertheless I currently have a bankroll online that enables me to make 200 a day. So were butter. And I'm never going to get really fucked up and pull an all nighter that sets me back a week. Swear, this time. I'm done doing that.

Yeah, okay thats outta the way. Gotta get my account to 2k and I'll be able to send for a check, I have close to 1k now so it'll take about 2 weeks I presume to get to 2k and send for a check. I'll check back in exactly 2 weeks and see if I've got there.

I see sometime in the near future possibly making up to 500 dollars a day online. This is entirely plausible considering that I've made between 150-200 the last 2 days with little stress and playing low stakes. And there was that month long period of 250+ made everyday or at least 6 days a week, when I got that check for 3k.

I am the greatest poker palyer in the fucking world. I can destroy anyone I play. I am my own worst enemy. A more responsible person with my poker ability would have 100k in the bank right now. I have fucked myself so many times. I no longer care that 2 fellow poker players ripped me off for sums of cash that resemble the net profit of a very lucky live 1,2 NL session. When you consider how many times I have robbed myself. The way I win money just sitting on my computer and make amounts that normal people will have to work at shitty jobs for hours to get, and then use that money so foolishly and recklessly without any responsibilty. I just work hard rake in the dough, and then slack off as soon as I have some breathing room. Gotta appreciate what I can do and consider my buddies who ride the train everyday to get to work. Gotta stop hating playing and just work hard. Everyone has to work. I have to play. Play is work to me and sucks but if I ever had to do what normal people do I'd run back to poker quicker than a blink. You feel me?

Congratulations to Peter Eastgate for being just 23 years old and winning the WSOP main event. I hope he is mature enough to handle the 9 million responsibly. Don't blow it bro, play well, play well all the time, never switch to donk mode no matter how much money you got.

Member Stu Ungar people? I quote him: "Theres nobody to ever beat me playing cards, the only one thats ever beat me was myself........."

Fast forward to minute 3 on this video: http://video.google.com/videosearch?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=TSHB,TSHB:2006-48,TSHB:en&q=stu+ungar&um=1&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&resnum=8&ct=title#q=stu%20ungar%201997&emb=0

Stu Ungar was the best ever, straight up. I don't claim to be on that level but I still feel I fall victim to much of what he did. I am my own worst enemy as well. As are many poker players, and people in general. I gotta appreciate what I can do and do it with pride every time. I now understand more than I ever have about making money consistently, you learn more everyday. Gotta stay on the upswing, the man with 2k and on the upswing is better off than the man with 100k on the downswing. Cause the man on the downswing will eventually lose it all. The man on the upswing will eventually double up. No matter the cards, the luck, the variance, the outside circumstances, the man on the upswing will fight through the barriers of nature and prevail with profit. The man on the downswing can suck out all he wants, but no matter the cards, the luck, the variance he will eventually lose it all.

I qoute Tyler Durden(Ed Norton version): "After a long enough time frame the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

I believe I truly understand the upswing now and its mental frame. I felt myself this past week, playing in a way that wasn't me, my game had changed for the worse, I couldn't win. It was the downswing, and I'd been there b4. It was brought on by my massive high money dump, yada, yada, yada. But then I felt myself get back on the upswing. I can now fully comprehend the upswing and downswing and I know when I'm playing bad. Not doing yada yada worthy stuff and staying within ur bankroll will keep you on the upswing. I was onthe upswing for a very long time online and it was great. Now, I am there once again and will stay there. The only person who has ever ruined things for me has always been me.

Remember kids, luck variance will cost you money but it will never cost you enough to stop you from making dough. Really serious downswing are your own fault. Know yourself, know your game. Know when your playing that right way and only play then, and you will frequently deposit large wads of cash money in your savings account.

I've been thinking, once I get enough money to move back to AC and get a place, I should have a ruitine. Say:

1) Wake up

2) Coffee

3) Gym

4) Shower, throw on one of my track suits with a different color for each day of the week

5) Drink those healthyass protein shake things

6) Play 4 tables of whatever stakes I'm playing at that time until I have played 1500-2000 hands, which is a very solid number that is such a massive amount of hands that it would be nearly mathematically impossible to not produce a profit over that long a time frame

7) Relax
8) Casino

9) Have dinner at one of those nice dinner places in the casino

10) Play live poker for 3-5 hours

11) Go to a bar

12) Sleep

Gotta continue doing #6 while at home and I should have enough to move out in like 6 months and I can start making this routine schedule happen. Should pull in a lot of money if I play online and live everyday. Though there will still be some losing days playing live due to the fact that live poker doesn't always grant you enough hands per day to overcome shortterm luck variance. But as usual there will be mostly winning days. But as long as I have online which I can play a week's worth of live hands in 4 hours everything will be butter. Online poker is God's greatest creation, I'm sorry for all the bad things I've said about it......

Another Atlantic City Trip Report

I am very upset over a recent turn of events in AC. I actually had a losing session last night at the Borgata. I lost 205 to be exact. The weirdest situation I may have ever encountered at a poker table caused me to cripple my stack. I really feel like it wasn't my fault at all. Think of all the ways there are to lose a huge pot in a poker game. 1) a cooler 2) bad beat 3) failed bluff

For those of you who don't know a cooler is when you have an unbelievably strong hand and someone happens to have one of the only hands that can beat you. And your hand is really nto foldable, even if Phil Ivey was in the same situation he would of lost, thats a cooler.

A bad beat is simply a suckout, you get all your money in with way the best hand and your opponent catched a miracle card when he or she was drawing very very slim. And I'm not going to explain what a failed bluff is.

Ofcourse I found a way to lose a big pot that does not match up with any of these. It was just so strange. What happenned was I read my opponent perfectly and I knew he wanted me to fold, he sincerely, truly wanted me out. So I stuck my money in. The problem is the reason he wanted me to fold. It wasn't your regular kind of logic.

Anyway, to break it down, I wake up with QQ in the big blind. The 3rd best possible starting hand out of the 169 possible starting hands in texas holdem. This kid to my left is going all in for his last 40 bucks like every hand cause he is on tilt. I'm sitting with about 260 and am salivating with my QQ about to pick up his 40 bucks unless he sucks out on me. I'm just waiting for everyone to fold so I can gladly call. QQ is never an automatic stick all your money in with nothing invested in the pot kind of hand in a cash game, but when the guy is moving all in almost every hand cause he is on tilt, you know QQ is definately the best hand.

So it folds around to everyone but the last guy who is on my immediate right. He decides to reraise the bet to 100 total. Now I am in quite the quandry. I'm pretty sure quandry means problem.

Anyway ususally I'll just muck QQ in about 2 seconds flat preflop when someone reraised to 100. However, this situation was different. You see he(the guy who made it 100) doesn't need that strong of a hand to reraise because he is going to want to isolate against the kid who was all in for 40. Because obviously that kid doesn't have that big of a hand since he's going all in so often. So with most medium strength hands that are easily outdrawable your going to want to isolate so you can be one on one against the tilted all in kid's hand.

This made me feel like QQ was definately good here. How can I really be up against KK or AA. We both know the all kid has crap, is this guy really reraising to 100 with KK or AA? He can't be, it makes so much sense that he has a mid pocket pair 88 - JJ or maybe AK. He can't have QQ beat here cause I know he just wants to isolate.

With this this information present I decided to interrogate the dude on my right who made it 100. And thats when the strangeness all went down. He gave off every weakness tell in the book. The way he answered my questions, his reaction time, his mannerisms. Everything read weakness. I was about stick my money in as I grabbed my chips and he says 'I'm gonna call you ya know' and he said a variety of other weak, weak tells. Now I can read people, I trust my instinct. He wanted me to fold so badly. Everything that was coming off his body just exuded weakness. I've been in this situation so many times and I knew he had like 88 or 99, he had to. And I decided to move all in for 250. He called right away and I knew he had kings. The way he quickly called. I asked him, kings? He says yeah. And I double him up. I'm now sitting with 30 bucks in front of me.

Ya see all the weakness tells were not exactly weakness, it was strength however he did sincerely want me to fold. And I read that perfectly. He was one of those misinformed players who misunderstands poker and doesn't see it terms of long term results. He was sincerely concerned his KK would be outdrawn and honestly wanted me to fold. He wasn't so smart that he knew everything to do to make me call, it wasn't like that at all. He actually wanted me to fold! It was kind of like his stupidity and unwillingness to be an 80% or at worst 70% percent favorite won him a bunch of money. He wanted me out cause he was a pussy, I read it perfectly that he wanted me out. I made a great read, but the problem was he wanted me out for the wrog reasons. I know I've explained this for way to long but I just want you to understand. It's hard for people who don't play to see what happenned here. I could not rebuy cause my friend Narska had the rest of my money cause I gave him 130 of my chips to rebuy himself. I went all in 20 mins later for my last 30 bucks, I held KK ironically and lost to the same guy, he had 97 suited..........

If you don't understand what I mean and think I just couldn't lay down QQ then leave a comment. I assure you I've layed down QQ preflop like 4 million times in my life. I promise you I made the right choice. There was no way I can assume he is just a pussy who doesn't wanna get all his money as a huge favorite and thats why his body is exuding all these tells that say 'please fold'

I know I could played it safe and just mucked it cause I had zero dollars invested but I trust my reads so much. So thats how I lost a huge pot without really doing anything wrong. On the waj home I wouldn't shut the fuck up about the hand. It was so strange, and BBL has been running through my mind with alot more frequency than normal lately for some reason. And that hand has been really bugging me. I should have like 200 cash on me right now.

AC TRIP summary

Day 1) Tropicana +300 in 6 hours

Day 2) Harrahs +46 in 1.5 hours Borgata -205 in 3 hours

Total) +141 profit......... enough for room, gas, and food, no extra money, back home grinding online. Which is going really well, I'll post a graph tomorrow.

Oh yeah my friend Narska loves Atlantic City so much he wants to go like every week, so were gonna go alot. Next time will stay longer and win more. Peace out all...........

YOU STUPID IDIOT!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh. Now that I've got some money I can feel myself taking it easy. You would think it wasn't till I moved out that I would relax, but no. I'm gonna wind up living here till I'm 35, maybe 75 at this rate.

I can't take 25 max seriously anymore. I'm currently sitting at about 1330 on PokerStars and I've cashed out via transfer 80 bucks. So I'm up roughly 1400 since I started rebuilding on October 9th. I've been playing 50 max now, 4 tables. So I'm basically risking double the money I was. My first full session of 4 tabling 50 max I made 96 bucks in 962 hands or 2.5 hours. My second session I made 158 in 625 hands, just under 2 hours. I began playing them because I've been donking it up at 25 max cause I can't take it seriously. I've probly dropped like 60-70 bucks from my last 2 sessions of 25 max. I'm risking more money playing lower stakes and playing like a jackass then I am playing higher stakes and actually trying. So 50 max it is from now on.

Although my first 2 sessions 4 tabling 50 max have been a sucess I am not happy with how I have been playing at all. Alot of the bigger pots I have won have been on me making marginal calls, or picking off people's bluffs. Honestly though, I can not claim I was 100% sure my opponents were bluffing each time, so these are not the kind of situations I wanna be in. And there not reliable money making situations in the long run. I also won a gigantic pot when my KK saw a flop of 789 when there was already shitloads of money in the pot preflop. My opponent with a big stack, like 100 had really gambled preflop and called a 3 bet with J10! We got it all in as did some idiot with a full stack and flush draw. My KK had a 3% chance of winning against the flopped straight. I couldn't put him on J10, I thought he had 10 10 or JJ. Luckily, an 8 paired the board on the turn and then a K hit the river to give me a full boat. I scooped a massive 200+ dollar pot. It was the size of like an Atlantic City pot, but in a 50 max game, so sick. I was very lucky to win that as I stuck all my money in on the flop with a 97% chance to lose.

So yes my first 2 sessions of 50 max have gone well but I'm gonna have to move back down to 25 max if I have a rough time and see my bankroll go below 1100 again. But as long as I'm willing to move down in stakes if I take a hit, I'll be ok.

The reason why this post it titled 'you stupid idiot' is because I just was fucking around on my computer and was playing some 25 max cause my friend Tom was playing with the money I sent him. I thought it would be fun so I sat at his table and proceeded to donk off like 70+ dollars cause I wasn't taking it seriously. Theres no way I'm gonna play well and concentrate and make money if I'm not in the poker mindset. Thats the dumb shit I used to do. But I did it again tonight. Then I wanted to get it back so like an idiot I began playing some heads up No Limit Holdem. The worst and most addictive drug in the world.

I won all my money back and some more. I played this really aggressive dude who kept betting everytime I checked. We were back and forth for a while and then after an hour he finally quit, down over 100 bucks. It felt great to beat that fronter and see him be the one to give up and leave.

Anyway I'm in AC because we came here on the spur of the moment. Last night I was sitting in my basement and was like 'Mahopac is so boring' and then half joking I was like 'we should just go to Atlantic City right now.' And now I'm here, won 3 hundo today at the Tropicana. I'll have a full trip report when I get back. Peace out all........

November is here and I think I've got my life back

I actually think I lost my life for a week or two. I literally had no money for a small period of time. And even then while I was building a bankroll from scratch online I really had no way of touching the money. I didn't wanna send for a check because I had to keep money online to play with and it wasn't till I reached 1 grand that I could even think about cashing out. And even when I did cash out it would take 2 weeks for me to receive my check in the mail. So it was looking like I was gonna be financially handicapped for a while.

But I started to see that when I have money on me I just buy uneccessary things with it. Particularly big sandwiches. Or maybe a magazine I don't need. Maybe spend it on some 'fun'. 'Fun' I don't need to be having and is way to expensive. So I kind of like it better this way. Now I'm only gonna spend money when I need it. And I don't have to worry about how long a check is going to take to get here. Ya see my friend Narska has a Pokerstars account and he gives me cash and I transfer him money online. It's a pretty butter system. It's like the quickest and easiest way to cashout. And I don't spend alot cause I know it's coming out of my bankroll. So I pretty much only spend money now on things I need.

It's pretty funny his dad is pretty rich and careless with money. He's plays on Narska's account and refuses to play anything less than 1,2 with a 200 max buy in online. He really should learn the game playing lower stakes but refuses to play anything less than 200 max (1,2). I play 1,2 at the casino and it's easy to beat but online it's different. 1,2 is the lowest stakes you can play live cause it's all the casino's offer. But online all the fish are playing much lower stakes cause there are so many different levels or options. So 1,2 is a tough game. And this guy is just blowing probly 3-500 a day playing it. He can afford it so it really doesn't matter to him. Wow, some of those online 1,2 pros must be doing cartwheels everytime Tomasz187 or whatever his name is sits at their table.

So I'm most likely going to get a lot of business from Narska's dad when he wants to make another deposit. I currently owe 60 bucks that I'm going to transfer over to Narska when he needs it. My plan is to keep a minimum of 1,100 dollars in my account and cashout everything else. I'm gonna make it a rule that I can't have less than 1,100 in my account so I can't spend any money until I get my balance over 1,100. Right now I have 1,165 so I gotta send Narska 60 bucks and then play, play, play if I wanna see any money.

So lets say at the end of this week my balance is 1,600 bucks, I'll send a check for 400 to myself and then send 100 over to Narska and get 100 cash instantly which should hold me over till the check arrives. I think I'm going to keep 4 tabling 25 max and then only play 50 max when I've already up on the day from 25 max can play 50 max with house money (freerolling). I want to wait till I have like 1500-2000 to start up 4 tabling 50 max but it's going to be difficult now that I'm starting to send myself money. I'm still figuring out what I wanna do.

I think I can definately put in some more hours starting tomorrow. Today I don't feel like doing anything cause it's Sunday. I'm just watching sports all day. I play some limit holdem while watching the Jets game and made 12 bucks, lol. So I'm up like 32 so far for November. November is going to be a very exciting month because it's my first full month with pokertracker, and with an actual bankroll online that I can churn out profits with. So I hope to make over 3,000 profit this month. Here's how October went for me online (keep in mind this is not a full month and half the time I couldn't play high enough stakes cause I was still rebuilding):

October Cash games:

Oct 15th: +23

16th: -113

17th: +88

18th: even

19th: +74

20th: +39

21st: +115

22nd: +147

23rd: +72

24th: -124

25th: +123

26th: +39

27th: +78

28th: +124

29th: +98

30th: +90

31st: took day off

Total Cash games: +873 (57 hours)

Total tournaments: +260 (? hours)

Total October Winnings: +1,133 (57+ hours)

Poker tracker cant record tournies so I gotta do it manually. I'm gonna make so much dough this November. I'm going to try and play some more of those FPP tournies it's a relatively easy way to make 20 bucks with no risk. So after my usual cash session 4 tabling 25 max where I make about 20/hour I'm going to play a bunch of free tourney's. It's not impossible to make 200 a day even without moving up to 50 max cash. Gonna put more hours in each day starting tomorrow. Very exciting. How much do you think I should save up before I move out? I think at least 15k, suggestions? Damn it feels good to have my life back.