Leavin Sunday, coming back ?????

I look back at mid April 2008, before I ever started this blog. I was leaving AC after being there living in motels for about 2 months on and off. After meeting with a guy about paying 1100 a month to rent out his 1 bedroom condo I decided that was way to much to pay a month. I had planned on never going back to Mahopac to live, but that got all fuct up. 1100 was just to much, even somewhere else for like 800 was pricey. So I decided to go home, back to Mahopac to rebuild my bankroll. I wanted to save up more money then go back. I knew online poker wasn't the answer. I know it now and knew it then but I came back anyway, I regret this.
Now its September, like 5 months have past and I am almost broke. I should not have come back here and played online. I knew online wasn't the answer. Now 5 months later I come up with the wild idea of finding other people like me on the internet so we can split a place. Well I have found quite a few 3-4 bedroom places available in the 950-1200 range. Which after utilities shouldn't cost more than 450 each a month. Chump change.
I can't put a finger on why I did not this of this while I still had money. When I was floating between 5-6k saved for so many months. Now I got like a grand to my name and I'm going back. I have no margin for error, if I fuck up twice or three times at the tables I may have to temporarily get a job again. No one in my family will help me out with a loan because they are so old fashioned and do not understand that poker is a game of skill. No matter how many times I explain it to them they brush off my words as if I'm going down there and playing slot machines.
It's going to take another 8-10 years before the entire American public accepts poker player as a lucrative profession.
If I had just thought things out better. When I was not accomplishing much online, or even when I was making dough but I knew I wasn't happy playing online as a job. I should of realized back then I need to get my car sold ASAP and I should have close to 10k and go back to AC get a place with some people to save money and then BAM! I'm banking lots of dough.
But no, I don't think of this till now. What was it that kept me here? Was it the girl? Did this girl I was chillin with who I don't like, never did, and knew I never would keep me here? Maybe. I sometimes have a problem with every girl I meet not being BBL. I seem to not really care about any girl cause there not BBL and there never gonna be BBL. And I knew this going in, I ignored it. Even so, I think her being here over the last 5 months had something to do with me not going back to AC.
Its just friends in general, having no friends really in AC just was so annoying. Poker became to much of a social outlet. Even days where I didn't wanna play poker I would play just to do something. No good.
Well the two people who are down to split a place are both mad cool so everything should be straight. I know I don't have much money right now but once I sell my car I'll be straight. All I need is like 3, 4 grand and Ill run that up really high in no time. As long as I never have to play online again I'm straight butter. Overall I'm happy about how things are going. I could have made better decisions but whatever, I will try to be more ambitious and less 'just chill' oriented from now on. I have always been a do whats best at the moment and not whats best for the future kind of guy.
Well I'm trying to now, really take steps to make my life what it should be. I'm not going to stay at my fucking parents house anymore. I'm not going to play online cause I know its all fuckin bullshit. I'm not going to go full weeks without earning money. I'm going to play live, I'm going to play a lot. I'm going to get in shape and not be such a fat fuck who eats whatever the hell he wants and however much, lol. I'm not going to be chillin with girls who I don't like and are below my standards just to have some kind of female companionship. I'm going to go down there, get moved into one of these places, pay a mere 400 or so dollars a month, work out, eat healthy shit, talk to hotter girls that resemble the ones I post on this site, make the sickly lucrative hourly rates I've always made in AC and really bank some dough.
I have never been in AC for an extended period of time without paying 220-250 a week for a place to live, along with God knows how much for food cause I would eat out every meal. And even then I was doing ok. Now I'm going to be paying a third of what I paid to live somewhere and were gonna go grocery shopping to save even more money. And I'll have at least two friends to start out. So I should be making, money, spending money, and saving money.
When I was home I was not paying shit to live but breaking even online. Overall I think I broke even online in the last 5 months. So I'm actually going to make more money by paying to live somewhere.
Obviously the ideal situation would be to live for free and be able to play live poker everyday. But hey 300-400 a month thats almost the same as free. I'm very pumped people. Very, very pumped.