The Brezlin Challenge

Today marks the third day of the Brezlin challenge. Yesterday I played a solid session and reported it here with graphs and stats. And then mentioned I would have to play 30,000 hands before I can consider my win rate something to actually brag about.
Today I had some ridiculous luck. Not suckouts, I never really suck out on people, I get my money in with the higher percentage of winning most of the time. But I had some really fortunate card combinations in my favor. Meaning that I had an unbeatable hand and my opponent held a very strong, a near unfoldable hand but was just slightly behind mine. For example, I hold AA and my opponent held 88. The flop came A 2 8. Damn, he is done.

It actually happenned twice, where I flopped a set of kings against some poor bastards set of 10's. But I also was on the wrond end of this situation later on, as my set of 4's lost to a set of 10's. So I really was outrageously lucky only once, cause the other time gets negated by the 1 time I was outrageously unlucky. You feel me?

So anyway, The Brezlin Challenge. The 30,000 hands, I had roughly 27,000 to go after yesterday, having played close to 3,000 in 3 days. Today I played 1,000 and plan to do the same for the next month, and should take 26 more playing days to get to 30,000 assuming I complete the 1000 hands per session. After todays session, I have completed 3,792 hands, so yeah I have roughly 26k more to go.

After winning 115 bucks today in 1000 hands, I am up a total of 297 dollars in 3,792 hands. Here is a graph of todays session:
If you have trouble seeing it, simply click the image and it will be at full screen size. It was the best session out of 3 I've played since the challenge began. Some of the profit from my overall stats come from 2 short mini sessions I played on the first day, b4 I began 4 tabling. But the 40 bucks I made there will not really matter once the 30k hands is complete. Today's excellent session was topped off with a semi-big mistake by me as I made a bad river call. As with yesterdays session where I lost another big pot in the final minutes. Whatta ya gonna do, shit happens. But as you can see from the graph I was up over 130 at one point this session. Damn downswing. I actually broke even over the last 500 hands, as I was already up 115 after the first 500 hands, as you can see from the graph. You can also see my BB/100 hands stats for this session.

Anyway, heres a graph of the Brezlin Challenge overall, updated with todays graph.Thats 3,792 hands over 4 playing days. 3 full 1k hand sessions and 2 short mini sessions. 26k more and the challenge will be done. I think I've said this all already, just wanna make sure you understand, this poker graph and hands and BB/100 hands can be confusing to some.

So anyway over this first 3,792 hands of 25 max NLH I am up a total of 297 dollars in 12.5 hours. For an hourly rate of 24 dollars per. I am currently running at 15.6 BBs per 100 hands.

Tomorrow I may take a day off but soon enough I'll play another 1k hand session and post the graph, along with an updated overall Brezlin Challenge graph.

Hand of the day anyone? http://www.pokerhand.org/?4398303P

That shit is hilarious, make sure to watch the playback. What a ridiculous bet he made.

Peace out all. Who knows what kind of session I'll report about tomorrow, things may go wrong soon, I am running very hot right now, if the cards wanna screw me tomorrow so be it. But as always I do promise I will try my very best. Thats all you can do.

BREZLIN IS BACK

It happened kinda by accident but BREZLIN is back in action grinding the small stakes on pokerstars. Thats my screenname for those of you who don't follow religously.

Anyway I've been at it since June 19th, and have played every day for the last 4 days. Today and the first 2 days were decent for me. Yesterday I lost a little. Basically what happened was I owed my buddy Derick 50 bucks and he wanted it on pokerstars. I still had some cash from working so I just deposited 60 bucks and sent him his 50. I didn't even wanna play but I had 10 bucks. Obviously your not gonna cash out 10 bucks so ya mine as well lose it and have fun.
(when I say you mine as well lose it, I mean it doesn't really matter how good you are, just that 10 bucks is too short a bankroll to really do anything with regardless of who you are)

I shortstacked a 25 max buy in table with my 10 bucks figuring I would lose it. I ran well enough to turn my 10 into 30. Then I did the same b4 bed and picked up another 20.

So the next day I have like 50 bucks and I actually don't wanna lose it cause now its something. I mean 50 bucks is still nothing but I make 100 dollars for delivering coffee all over New York for 8 hours, and 50 is half that. So if you look at it that way, I don't like losing anything over 30 bucks. Like if 25 dollars fell outta my wallet I wouldn't be to upset, but anything over 30 it starts to get annoying.

So I played lower stakes, a 10 max game with my 50 and somehow make 50 dollars at 1 table. Sick. I play again later that night and win another 30.

Now I'm up to like 130 something from 10. Nice.

Yesterday I played all day and lost a little bit, mostly from screwing around at 10max. I just can't take that low of stakes seriously. I was down a lot after starting the day with 130 and then switched to 25 max so I can take it serious. I won all my money back playing 4 tables of 25 max and broke even for the day. I took some really horrible suckouts to cost me dearly and would have been up big if some of my hands had held up. It was an unusual amount of bad luck yesterday.

Tonight I decided to play another session of 4 tables of 25 max. I wanted to plug up some of my leaks I had been thinking about. For one, I am embarrassed to say I have areal big problem with checking how much I am up. I can't stop looking at my bottom line and seeing how much I've won, and when I downswing from my previous high point I always feel like shit even though I am up a lot since the session began, when I downswing from my highest profit level I still feel like I'm losing, even though I'm not.

You should not be worried about what your up or down, swings are inevitable, you should just be worried about making the right decision, regardless of the outcome. If you always make the right decision, the money will come, it just takes time. Worrying about every little swing will only drive you mad. Even someone who can see through cards would have downswings, you can't let it get to you. Its gonna take time for you to make profits. I know this, I've said it 4 million times on this site but yet I still have a problem with checking my bottom line all the time. I'm telling ya it doesn't do anything positive for me.

So I decided to make another rule for online poker to go with many others I have. The rule is that you can only check what your up once every 1000 hands. And I also made it another rule to not use the chat box, not even have it visible, cause I hate to admit this too but when someone tells me they hope I die cause I won a hand off them, even suck out on them, it does semi tilt me.

So I played tonight with these two things in mind and added them to the rules. I must say it helped as I played some superb poker. Very concise and calm. My A games remained through 1300 hands and there were only a few very slight tinges of tilt. I probably only made about 100 mistakes the whole time when I usually make 250-300.

(Normal people make about 1000 mistakes in this period of time, you would be amazed at how complicated and multilayered NLH is, no one, I mean no one plays perfectly)

So I pulled in another 67 bucks tonight for a 3 hour session. I was up 100 but was sucked out on for 30 bucks on one of the last hands I played.

Copy and paste: http://www.pokerhand.org/?4394788P

Did you see it? I could have flat called the flop to see if a club comes, but that's not my style, I'd rather just ship it all in and be a big favorite to win a huge pot. Turns out I'm a 57% favorite, my opponent with just a 43% chance. He was lucky enough to catch a club on the turn and I lost a huge pot. I could have been up against AK as well if he had the same hand as me. He could of had it with the K of clubs and be freerolling against me. I guess I could of been more prudent and played the hand a little more conservative. But I know I have him beat and I put him on exactly the hand he had and felt I had to ship it in. I did get the money in a favorite, he did suck out, so I guess I'm happy. Next time I would like to be a bigger favorite than 57% though to ship in that much money.

So anyway, I'm up to a little over 200 on stars now after starting with a measly 10. Even if I lose the 200 I really only invested 10. So its all good. Nice to be back, I have felt like I've been ripping off my audience for a while now since I haven't been playing or talking poker. So here check out this GRAPH:

That was June all stakes I've played, some 10 max, some 25 max. Here's a look at June, just 25 max:
I'll be playing 25 max exclusively till the end of this month and then consider my options. In 9 hours of 25 max and a total of 2,783 hands I am up 182 dollars. So that's 19 dollars an hour and
13 big blinds per 100 hands. However 2,783 hands is not a very large sample size. If I can keep this up for 30,000 hands we can talk. So the Brezlin challenge begins...........

I'll post a graph after each session, and then after 30,000 hands we can see where we stand. Lets hope I make it, 200 dollars is still not a sufficient enough bankroll to be 4 tabling 25 max, but whatever, still gonna play 27, 217 more hands and see what my win rate is. I have some crazy bankroll management ideas I will discuss tomorrow that will make you think I"m nuts. If I do lost the 200 I can always do this experiment in the future anyway. Peace out all.

Near Death Experience

I have not written in a long time cause I've been busy getting money. I don't have to much to say as of right now but that may change as I continue to write.

I am somewhat not broke right now. It feels really really good to not be totally broke.

I almost died in a car accident last week.

I would really like to start playing poker online, but am unsure how safe it is right now.

Supposedly the government seized like 50 million is online poker funds from people's accounts. I would like to put some cash online and play intelligently with it so I can have some source of income until July.

My cafe should be opened by July.

Or I could just stretch the money I have now until July, which is also doable, but not ideal.

Either way, I can't put any money online till I know for sure its safe.

I have been painting my parents deck and when I'm finished I'm gonna get a nice sum of cash money.

And I filled in for my father's driver who was out for 2 weeks, I was the delivery guy for a year, so it was easy, yet long and rough. I made the deliveries each day and now I have money, nice. But there was an accident. I do not wish to go into details about this accident at this point in time, due to the whole insurance thing.

To sum it up I was turning left on route 9 when I was slammed by an SUV going 50mph. The SUV was going straight and hit me head on, I was hit on my passenger side spun around in a complete 360 and then once again nailed in the back. They're is a horrendous dent in the back of the van and the front wheel also came off as well as shattering basically the whole passenger side of the hood to the wheel. You would probably feel the people in the car may be seriously injured if not dead. But I walked out without a scratch on me. The van is totaled, unfixable, as it was destroyed by this SUV in this high speed collision. Yet I manage to walk away without a scratch on me. The people in the SUV were also okay, from the last I saw of them, the worst they may have suffered is minor aches and pains. If they were not driving such a big safe car they may have been seriously hurt.

The worst part of the whole thing was the second where I knew this speeding mass of metal was going to hit me and I knew I could do nothing about it. The uncertainty. I remember thinking "Wow that's gonna hit me, for sure." And then I saw a vision of myself in the hospital with the feeding tubes and life support machine. And then bang!!!!!!!! A loud crushing boom, the van 360's around like a top and then I get slammed again in the back. Crunch!!!!!!!!!!

I jerk forward, get destroyed by the airbag, rattle around for a second and then come to a dead halt. I stand right up in my seat, and am perfectly fine. Crazy.

I immediately rush myself outside figuring I have to go rescue the people in the other car, and figuring they have to be dead. I feel so horrible. I run outta the van and toward their car which also almost completely wrecked, and off the road lying in grass. To my surprise I see the man and woman are both walking around outside, seemingly in better shape than me. What the hell?????????????????????

"Are you okay?" I shout at the guy.

He says yeah and asks me if I'm hurt. I say no and then ask if his wife is okay and he says yeah. I am stunned, first that I wasn't dead, then that they weren't dead.

Do you see how stupid it is now to hope you get lucky in a game of poker? I mean come on guy. Your really gonna stand up in your chair and pray to God that you hit your flush. I can miss my next 10,000 flushes and I'm still fortunate cause nothing fatal happened to me or these two people in this accident. This is the kind of stuff you need to use your luck wishes on. Not for selfish hopes that you'll win someone's money.

In retrospect, perhaps the accident was not as bad as it seemed at the time. 80mph would have really been a miracle to survive. But come on guy, getting slammed by an SUV at 50 mph? That's bad. A number of small variables definitely had to fall into place for everyone to walk away unscathed. Well shit, thank you God, and all other entities that anyone else out there believes in. Thank your lucky stars that the car that crashed into me was an SUV and not a toyota camry. I have pics, but do not wish to post them right now, due to the fact that I am not going into details about the particulars of this unfortunate incident.

I will get back into it my thoughts during the accident in next post. But I do not wish to speak much more of it at this time. Remember, the worst part of the whole thing was that foreverlasting second in which I knew I was gonna get hit and could do nothing but brace myself for impact. The anticipation and uncertainty was up there with some of the worst emotions I have ever felt.

One particular person I may have mentioned before on this site immediately came into my head the moment I knew it was over and I was still alive. Not my mother, father, sister, brother not any of my extremely close group of friends that have been like brothers to me since high school. Not any of these people, just one fuckin person popped right in, the very first second I knew I was okay. Can you believe this shit? Are you kidding me guy? Unbelievable. If your an avid follower of Frank's Days there no reason for me to explain further.

And in the words of Forrest Gump, that's all I got to say about that.

I think I'm gonna do another movie based post for next entry. Many of the thoughts from this particular incident will carry over into this movie review post that is coming soon. Peace out all, step back and get some perspective on the kind of things you should be cursing the gods over not getting your way about, life is to short. I guess everyday above ground is a good day if you really think about it.

Salvation Lies Within

All this blog really is sometimes is venting my daily or weekly grievances through written word. Its like a shitty form of psychiatry. Its like who wants to pay out 100 smackers an hour when they can just write it down. And some people may even read this. And maybe I can get some more comments than usual, and feel some positive feedback. I really can't believe my last post did not receive any comments, it was quite extensive.
Anyway its not like this all the time, mostly I'm writing happy cheery stuff right? Talking about exciting plans or new revelations in my mind concerning poker. Revelations that bring me closer to complete harmony and make me truly understand the game and myself. A transition when complete will make me totally impervious to worldly desires and fully one with nature and the universe. Therefore making poker nothing but an enjoyable and profitable activity, regardless of the situation. My full potential must be reached, and upon grasping it I will be flawlessly at peace within. I still feel it is a long road and the majority has not been completed, but most players are not even visible in my rear view mirror.
I'm not talking about skill of course, skill like reading people, betting, tilt control, stamina. I'm talking about the poker mindset, the ability to understand the game and deal with its brutal swings with complete serenity. The ultimate skill, the perfect poker mindset. Its actually similar to Buddhism when you consider how far my poker mindset has come. I now am at the point where I see we must all accept whatever money/luck/fortunate cards the game is willing to give us. Anger or frustration over losing/bad beats/swings is strictly forbidden. And even happiness when things are going well should not be embraced. You must stay neutral and emotionless at all times. For keeping your good emotions from getting out, even though they are good, is beneficial, cause they will only serve as a stark contrast to the bad emotions your are trying to avoid when it all goes awry. Happy all time, or neutral, or at peace and accepting of all things, is what we are striving for.
You can be really good at reading people, betting, understanding the game, patience, and tilt control. These are the exterior skills one must have. The interior skill is your poker mindset, the peace within yourself in some ways its the same thing as patience and tilt control, but if you delve deeper its very different. Its easy with enough practice to be able to force yourself not to go on tilt for a whole session(6 hours) and patience is in a way a matter of choice and priority. I mean yeah its hard to fold all your bad hands and never play unless you have a strong holding, but with if it was a matter of life or death you could do it no problem. The true poker mindset is one of harmony with yourself and the world, upon achievement you don't have to worry about things like tilt, patience, greed, or compulsiveness cause you will no longer feel the need for typical human response. Your nothing without the interior skill, all the exterior skill in the world can only get you so far.
I do believe life circumstances directly effect ones success in poker, as in any sort of venture to succeed. And life circumstances can effect your poker mindset, a big bankroll is key. Once you have the bankroll or the resources to get one, and you have all the exterior skills, it is within your best interest to strive toward complete harmony.
I feel I am fortunate to have semi wealthy parents so I do have the resources to get a nice bankroll, even though I am currently broker than most, even in this economy, damn. I have rather exceptional exterior skill and still striving for complete harmony with myself and the game.
I've been testing myself as of late and trying to build another bankroll from scratch, I won 60 cents in a freeroll on pokerstars. I decided to play super low stakes to try and build it up. Why not? I got nothing to lose. Well I got it up to 10 bucks. I then downswung to 7 bucks and decided to play a 6 dollar tourny. This is a poor bankroll decision, but since the money I had was so little it didn't really matter and decided if I don't get at least 25-30 bucks together this shit isn't worth the time. I caught a full house and checkraised my opponent all in on the river, putting him on a flush. I knew he would call cause I had him on flush and I knew it was a great spot to raise all in. So he called my all in and I was right he had a flush. To bad it was a straight flush. I'm broke.
Think I still have like 7 cents.
I figured it shouldnt matter what stakes I'm playing as long as I play the game sound and manage my money as well as possible. But I got frustrated by the low super low so frigen low and pathetic waste of time stakes and didn't play as well as I could've. I'm not gonna chalk it up to regression upon my road toward complete harmony, it really is too low of stakes to take serious.
Once I have my cafe, start getting some income from there, start playing poker as a secondary income, get at least 1000 bucks online, play at least 25 max buy in poker, then, no excuses. Honestly? I feel the money is gonna roll in, just pour in like craziness, it's gonna feel unreal. The strength of my bankroll, the security of a separate income source is going to open up new doors for me and poker is going to be easier than ever before.
When your mindset reaches its pinnacle of harmony and understanding, you will be completely at peace within. Its all there, within you, you must find it. It will help you immensely in poker, and make you a better person in life. We can't control everything, but we can give ourselves the best fate possible if nothing ever clouds our judgment and we continue to always make the best possible decision. That's were you go wrong in poker, cause things inevitably go wrong, and then our judgment suffers. You can't prevent the inevitable unfortunate event, but you can find peace, or salvation within, and you will be strong enough to continue to think clearly no matter the circumstance.
I'm sure I will continue this discussion at a later date. As for now remember this: your loss in poker is another man's gain, and your gain is another man's loss. So instead of rejoicing when you win and snickering when you lose, remind yourself that the whole world does not revolve around you. Everyone deserves their chance to be a winner and everyone will inevitably be a loser. If you always won everyone else would always lose. So see the table as a whole, and you are just one small part of it, all of the parts make it what it is. Without everyone there would be no game, so don't fall into the normal human emotion that tells you need to win to be happy. Don't be happy, don't be sad, just be.