Best to Worst

Ed Harris as 'General Hummel' in The Rock. Tupac as I forget his name in Juice. Patrick Swayze as 'Body' in Point Break. The best bad guys in movies are good/bad bad guys. Those guys whose actions are motivated by something more than just their selfish intentions. And most importantly, they're your friend. The best movies, showcase villains who are the main characters friend first. These relationships stop the villain characters from being two dimensional, and add the very needed substance to make a good story.
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I started writing this a month or so ago. And I don't know where I was going with that. Wish I finished it. I can sum the rest of that up by saying, yeah, you wanna write a good story, have your bad guy be a good/bad bad guy. You can't top that in terms of villain characterization.

I'm sitting here in my apartment tonight after an easy day of work. I feel lonely and in need of companionship however I am trying not to admit it to myself. I start talking to an old college buddy and reminiscing. And it reminds me of last night talking to a buddy from home also reminiscing about summers during college spent at home. And then I start thinking about everything I've done since highschool. And I can map it all out like this:

Highschool ends 2002

Westchester Community college 2003-2004

Oneonta College 2004-2007

Coffee Delivery (back in Mahopac) 2007-2008

Professional Poker in Atlantic City 2008-2009

Bumhood (back in Mahopac) 2009

Brooklyn Coffee House Entrepreneur (Mahopac)2009-???

My current situation is unleaveable. I'd be the biggest jackass in the world to leave my current position. I boss everyone around at work. But my family drives me off the wall. And in all fairness I do the same to them. There are too many bosses there cause my parents are always around. I can't boss them around. Too many chiefs not enough indians. Its been a problem from the beginning. The only solution is to get my brother to fully commit. But he is still to young to decide. How can I blame him? I never took on any really responsibility till I was 26. So I have to figure out a way to make this work. And deal with all the bullshit for however much longer it takes. But boy do I wish I had just stayed in AC.

Never in a million years would I be in a better position than I am now if I had stayed if you think about long term well being. But boy do I wish I had just moved in with Pat and Jimmy and there two crazy dogs. And just got a part time job. I would have a lot of money right now. Obviously what I'm doing now is better, but there will always be a small part of me that longs to go back.... I think it has completely eradicated all previous nostalgic longings to return to Oneonta and have no responsibility.

I wish my dad wasn't wealthy and I just had no choice but to struggle through life. I wouldn't be here sacrificing for the long run. I'd be out fuckin up and startin over all the time. But at least I'd be where I wanna be....

Grass is always greener on the other side.... When is the next great girl coming along? It could take years... I long for another spiritual connection. There is no drug more powerful than love. But right now nostalgia seems pretty strong. All life is, a series of hard times that never seems as bad when you look back. But whoever ever really appreciates the present. I'm gonna try to now, tonight, tomorrow at work. Gonna try real, real hard.....