Superficial?

My last facebook comment in the news feed everyone sees was "It is possible. I though it was impossible but I was wrong. I've never been so happy to admit I was wrong."

I look back now at all the posts I've written and the random little blurbs about BBL. Every once in a while I would throw her in their and I guess it would make me feel better about the situation. I knew people would read it and understand I've had certain experiences that may be similar to their own. It's basically the same type of therapy that talking about it offers.

I would never mention her name but use this code, BBL. I had thought about her constantly since we parted. I really believed I would one day move on but with a certain hint of regret and dissatisfaction. Like the girl I eventually start a family with would never truly satisfy me in the same way. And I would walk through life with a secret cynical depressed outlook cause the one I'm with isn't the right one. That there was one and only, there was a soul mate, but some how I let her go. And whoever she's with, she can't really truly be happy with.

But now I see no matter how real that nightmare seemed it really was not true. I believed it truly for live five years, or however long. And now I know there are no soul mates, there's just certain special girls out there.

You need to realize how important it is to be the best you can be. You need to look as good as you can and have as much money as you possibly can and I guess learn from your experiences as well as you possibly can to be the best person mentally, physically and emotionally. You have to get one you truly want. Don't settle, don't ever settle. Your going to get stuck and regardless of how unfortunate that it may be for you it's really not fair to the girl. It's not fair to the kids.

I guess I was wrong about BBL. And it's not like it's because there's someone else. It's not like I have any great news. I just have been through a lot since August when we opened, feels like 4 years crammed into 3 months cause I work so much.

That whole argument people have been making since the beginning of time about how looks aren't everything. Its all about getting you away from your first instinct and getting you to think deeper. It's about getting you to realize you shouldn't be so superficial. That personality and truly being a good hearted person is more important. And if you wind up with a pretty face that is a selfish person your not gonna be happy. Yeah that's true. But what is the whole truth?
There both important, and may be equally important. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality. Looks, personality.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.......... You need one that has both, don't you get it? Both, both, both, both.

For the longest time I had this deep resounding fear that she may never come back. And I would walk through life forever with that annoying itch you could never scratch. That eternal buzzing insect right in my ear, buzzzzzzzzz, buzzzzzzzzzzzz, buzzzzzzzzzzz "You know your not happy, you know you loved BBL more. You know you'll never be happy." In my ear everytime I talked to any girl.

I'm not going to hear anymore buzzing. There's going to be 20 BBL's by the time I'm in my mid 30's. I can't wait to meet every last one of 'em.

For the longest time I wondered what I would do if she never came back. Now my only fear is what to do is she returns...............